For My Loved Ones
by Spelljammer
Summary: *Author's Notice! Please Read!!* Harry, Sirius and Remus are living at Privet Drive. Slash SB/RL and HP/DM overtones
1. The Boy Who Saw Tomorrow

For my loved ones  
  
By: Spelljammer Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K Rowling and Scholastic. I'm just playing around here. ^-^ Slash Alert: Sirius/Remus undercurrent. Summary: When the Dursleys abandon Harry at the beginning of summer, Harry decides to live only for his real family. It's time to set up house. Time frame: Five minutes after Goblet of Fire.  
  
CHAPTER 1: The Boy Who Saw Tomorrow  
  
Harry wasn't at all happy with his life. The events of the Triwizarding tournament were fading a little but being with his relatives the ever abusive Dursleys would only aggravate his feelings. Harry, Dudley, Petunia and Vernon were driving from the station and neither of them had said a word. Harry supposed that the toffee incident with Dudley last year had really set them on edge. It was dead silent as they drove. As they drove the now familiar route back to Privet Drive, Harry felt sick. The yelling, the threats, the abuse from both Vernon and Dudley would resume any day now. Strange that Dumbledore said that living with them would be very safe. Even Voldemort the Dark Lord said he couldn't hurt him at Privet Drive. Harry thought this was a very sick joke played by distant unfeeling deities that some wizards believed in. As they reached Harry's neighborhood Vernon spoke.  
  
"Who's up for a burger?"  
  
Harry figured he was a non-entity even though he could use one.  
  
"Let's go to McDonald's" Dudley said quietly.  
  
"Okay. Harry you're included." Vernon said simply.  
  
A bomb could detonate off and Harry wouldn't have noticed  
  
"Um, thanks." Harry said totally bewildered.  
  
"Whatever." He grunted.  
  
At the local McDonald's the four ordered at least six royales with cheese (one for Petunia and Harry two for Vernon and Dudley who was not on his diet obviously) with fries and drinks. The atmosphere was very subdued. Even though this was nearly the first time he was offered to eat out the Dursleys were completely ignoring him.  
  
Maybe Professor Dumbledore told them to knock it off. Harry thought hopefully.  
  
After they left the restaurant and drove back to the house Harry felt...decent. Vernon drove into the driveway of 4 Privet Drive it seemed that Dudley and Petunia were holding their breath. Vernon spoke almost gravely  
  
"Boy, take your things on the doorstep." Harry noticed the quiet tone.  
  
Harry unloaded his luggage from the trunk and put them on the doorstep. Vernon then gave him the keys to the house. This surprised Harry more.  
  
"We're going out for a bit. Take care of things here."  
  
Harry's head was swirling. They were leaving home alone for a bit! They always thought he was going to blow up the house or something. Harry almost skipped to the front door and when he unlocked it and went inside with a caged Hedwig he heard the sound of the car speeding off. Harry then saw the most unbelievable sight.  
  
The house was empty. Totally devoid of furniture and appliances save for the fridge, washing machine and manila folder of papers on the floor. He picked up the folder and noticed a note.  
  
GET THAT DEADBEAT GODFATHER TO LOOK AFTER YOU. WE ARE THROUGH.  
  
VERNON  
  
The folder was pile of various legal documents including the deed to the house which Vernon was so proud of buying.  
  
The first thing Harry did was go to the sink and throw up his tasty meal he had barely a half hour ago. This was too much. They weren't much but family was family. This was it. Now Harry felt like the Lord of All Freaks. The magic was too much for them and their ordinary little world. Harry washed up and closed the front door. He picked up Hedwig and went to his room which was untouched and laid down on the bed.  
  
Bastards to the very end.  
  
Don't panic. You have money; you have people who care about you.  
  
I have to be strong now. I'm alone now. No, that's not right.  
  
Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Professor Dumbledore, Hagrid.  
  
But do I have to drag them into this mess.  
  
Harry decided to let Hedwig out to go hunting for a while. Harry noticed the bars on his window were gone. He let her out and was staring at the hazy sky. He was alone again, like when his parents died, like when Sirius had to go on the run, like when Cedric had died. When Hedwig came back Harry decided to go to Gringotts and make a withdrawal, then ask the Weasleys if he could stay with them because staying with Sirius was impossible. Harry was in a slow burn at that thought. He wanted to stay with him. He needed to stay with him and he was just out of reach. Harry felt a strange power overcome him slightly as he thought of his escaped con godfather.  
  
I wish I knew if he is safe or not. Letters aren't enough. I feel alone. I want him in my life. I want to see tomorrow with him.  
  
Harry felt...stronger? He was in a bad situation and yet it felt as if everything was going to be alright now. It was deep intuition. It left him in a sort of trance. Harry then heard the postman outside which only shook him a little. He thought of his luggage downstairs and thought he'd better put them upstairs. Only when he was downstairs did it dawn on him that he was leaving this house, for good probably and that he should leave them be. So he was going to get the post. Harry reached the front door and touched the doorknob....  
  
A brilliant vision overcame his eyes.  
  
// A wooded clearing in the country. A little house made of bricks.  
  
Sirius Black at its front door. The door opens only to find Remus Lupin on the other side.  
  
They were speaking but no sound was heard. They talked for a few minutes.  
  
Only one feeling emerged.  
  
All was right with the world. No matter what the past had done to them. //  
  
Harry slumped down. That felt like a dream except he was wide awake. The feeling of seeing that...whatever it was gave Harry an exhilarating feeling. Yet it didn't seem like it would happen yet. Something important happened to him and Harry felt he should trust this new feeling. Harry got out his writing supplies and made a quick letter. Hedwig came back and flew freely downstairs to Harry.  
  
"Hedwig send this to Professor Remus Lupin." Harry said quietly. Hedwig took the letter and flew out the front door Harry opened. He looked at his hand, the one that touched the doorknob. He was being selfish. He could get Sirius captured...but Harry trusted his newfound feelings. Above all, he needed to see him. Harry didn't feel like becoming the tenth member of the Weasleys. He wanted to be in Sirius and Professor Lupin's world.  
  
Sorry, Professor Dumbledore, I'm not going another day without them. 


	2. The Long Way Home

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer  
  
Disclaimers: Same as Chapter 1  
  
CHAPTER 2: The Long Way Home  
  
Remus Lupin had a guest at his house in the woods. Sirius Black, of the long hair, unshaven face and dusty robes was on his doorstep. Officially he was there to hide out until Dumbledore's faction "Order of the Phoenix" could be reestablished. In Remus Lupin's case though there were a lot of unspoken words that needed to be said to each other since the incident with Peter. There were more than thirteen years worth of words to tell his friend.  
  
"Come in." Remus spoke gently  
  
"We need to talk." Sirius said plainly as he crossed the threshold.  
  
Remus nodded.  
  
"Dumbledore sent word this morning about you."  
  
"Short notice."  
  
"I stocked up on food this morning too."  
  
"Hope I'm not imposing."  
  
"It'll just be like before." Remus said gently as the two walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Right." Sirius just grunted. Nothing was like before.  
  
Remus had some stew simmering on the stove and he was beginning to dish it up. Remus noticed the atmosphere was quite tense. A joyful reunion seemed to be out. He thought that Sirius being in the same room as someone who wouldn't believe that he was innocent almost fifteen years earlier must be hard. Wasn't all that behind them now? Two lifelong friends torn apart now brought together should be sweeter than honey. All Remus could taste was pain when he put the bowl and spoon on the table.  
  
"Hey, thanks." Sirius said almost timidly.  
  
He had a full wave of shame about him as was eating. Sirius looked and felt like a common beggar. This was a far cry from the tough guy of the Marauders, the one who could take on anyone who made fun of James and Peter and could grind anyone into dust if they even looked at Remus the wrong way.  
  
This feels wrong. Sirius thought mournfully.  
  
"How long will you stay?" Remus asked  
  
"Until futher notice, I suppose. The old faction is coming together again and we'll be needed." Sirius said between bites.  
  
"I didn't think it would come to this." Remus said darkly.  
  
"War?"  
  
"That, and the fact that we have nothing to say to each other."  
  
"Please let me in again, Remus. We could start over again." Sirius said with more than a hint of desperation.  
  
"You were never outside, mate. That was the problem." Remus said with a look that suggested that he was on the verge on breaking.  
  
"I felt like I was far, far from home." Sirius blurted "You, James and Lily were home to me." "Even though I saw you at the shack, this past year I felt like..."  
  
"You can't go home again."  
  
Sirius nodded. Take a chance Padfoot he thought.  
  
"I still love you...way too much actually." Sirius blurted almost miserably  
  
  
  
"Again...you were never outside. You will NEVER be outside no matter how much I try to harden myself." This was slightly killing Remus.  
  
Just then an owl swooped in from the open window with a letter.  
  
"Hedwig?" Sirius said with all due shock.  
  
It was addressed to Remus but when he opened the letter the parchment was for Sirius.  
  
"It's Harry." Remus said quietly.  
  
After snatching the letter from him, Sirius was in total disbelief as he read it:  
  
DEAR SIRIUS  
  
COMPLETELY LEFT HIGH AND DRY BY MY SO CALLED FAMILY. VERY LOST AND SCARED. NEED YOU DESPERATELY IF ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. IT'S OKAY TO SHOW UP AT THE HOUSE. YOU SHOULD KNOW THE WAY. DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN BRING BUCKBEAK THOUGH. YOU SAID I COULD SEE YOU SOON. WELL, HOW SOON IS NOW?  
  
HARRY  
  
  
  
P.S: ASK ME HOW I KNEW YOU WERE AT PROFESSOR LUPIN'S PLACE WHEN YOU GET HERE.  
  
The last part seemed cheerful even though the first part was dire seeming. Sirius was immediately planning how to get to Privet Drive when Remus spoke.  
  
"Where's Buckbeak anyway?" he asked.  
  
"I let him go with a herd of wild Hippogriffs." He said distantly. It wasn't so bad since he put a tracking charm on the herd so he could find the creature at any time.  
  
After few a minutes of silence Remus spoke again.  
  
"Even there are anti-apparation wards around the house I could apparate a few streets down and you could piggyback on my energy trail so no one will notice."  
  
"Let's go." Sirius said with a firm resolve.  
  
It was almost nightfall back on Privet Drive and Harry left the door unlocked. He would not move from his spot in the middle of the bare floor until he got word from Sirius or if he showed up, which seemed to be the only thing Harry wanted right now. He was reading his fourth year divination book by the light of the fading sun because there were no light bulbs in the house. Harry could easily fix this with a charm or two but he wasn't allowed to perform spellcraft outside of Hogwarts.  
  
Stars, sticks, stones...but nothing about visions and barely anything about dreams.  
  
  
  
His dreams used to scare him, still do actually but this weird "waking dream" didn't scare him at all. It felt natural. Professor Dumbledore wasn't a real proponent of divination and most of the Hogwarts students disregarded it (including Harry) but Harry was slightly changing his mind about the subject. It wasn't the vision that was shifting his attitude since he had dreams before but it was his new feelings that were helping him. The door opened, but Harry didn't notice.  
  
"Looks like someone abandoned a little pup here." came Sirius' voice from the front door trying to be comforting but realizing the gravity of the situation upon seeing the barren house, save for Harry's luggage.  
  
Harry ran to the front door and nearly took down the larger man when he hugged him. Remus followed him in and was smiling serenely at the sight. Sirius was running his hands through Harry's brownish hair, inspecting him and even smelling him. This was an appraisal to see if Harry was okay. Canine mentality kicking in which came from being with Remus as a dog. Harry was almost crying.  
  
"I've had a very, very long day." Harry mumbled.  
  
When Harry was calmed down they all went up to his room and drew the curtains. It was now starting to get darker.  
  
"Lumnos" chanted Remus with his wand out. It started to glow white light. All three were sitting on the bed. "Well, what happened?" he asked.  
  
"This morning I got off the train, I had lunch with them this afternoon, then this happened." Harry handed Remus the folder of documents. As he looked them over Sirius started to fume.  
  
"We trusted them with you! This is absolutely unacceptable!" he was still holding on to Harry on the bed. "How could they hate you this much?"  
  
"Very easy actually. Every day since I was brought here was a battle for survival." Harry said with a little bitterness. It was quiet now. It was no secret that Harry detested the Dursleys but the actual amount of abuse Harry had to endure was unknown to every one except Harry who kept it to himself. Noticing the darkening expression on Sirius, Remus changed the subject.  
  
"I only met up with Padfoot here a few hours ago. How did know he'd be at my place?" He asked gently. Harry's expression brightened a little.  
  
"I had a dream while wide awake!" he said brightly starting to get a little proud of his little vision.  
  
"What'd you see?" Sirius asked not quite sure what he meant but starting to form a good idea.  
  
"Well at the front door I saw you and the professor..."  
  
"You can call me Remus, Harry." Remus cut in.  
  
"Thanks, anyway I saw both of you at the little house in the woods. It felt like it was something about to happen...or maybe it was in progress I don't know." At this both Sirius and Remus gave thoughtful looks at each other.  
  
"I guess we'll just go to Hogwarts and inform Dumbledore about all of this." Remus said. "I sent Hedwig out there to inform him to disable the anti-apparation wards around his office." Harry's face slightly frowned and Sirius held him closer. Remus knew full well why they weren't exactly thrilled to go see Dumbledore. The man had the power of life and death over them.  
  
"Maybe we could go in the morning." Sirius said solemnly.  
  
"No, we have to go right away." Remus replied quietly which seemed to suck all the life out of the room.  
  
Just then the scenery changed from Harry's room to the Gryffindor dormitory while the three were still on the bed-now the Gryffindor bed. This immediately disturbed Sirius and Remus because someone apparated all three of them. To apparate someone else without permission required a lot of power...and nerve. So naturally when they turned around they saw Professor Dumbledore. Sirius was clutching Harry very tightly now and the elder wizard noticed.  
  
"Don't be alarmed. I threw my aura around all three of you so it was like I apparated back and forth. It seems I have misjudged the Dursleys." Dumbledore had a tired expression.  
  
"I have to set up the wards now. Stay the night here. We can talk in the morning." Dumbledore said with the same tired expression. Did he look defeated? Remus thought. Still a little stunned from the apparation process Harry just stared at Sirius. Without a second thought Sirius took one of the beds and pushed it right next to the bed Harry was sitting on making it like one giant bed.  
  
"Well, come on Moony, he's giving us at least one night together, better make the most of it!" Sirius said with a little cheerfulness (largely faked). Harry just plopped his head down on the pillow. Sirius bounced on the bed trying to take in this moment. When Remus was on the other side of Harry on the bed he picked up his wand which came with them.  
  
"Nox." He chanted and all the lights went low. Harry was exhausted but felt safe. He desperately tried to take the moment for all it was worth but was very tired from the emotional roller coaster he was on today. For all the surprises he got in one day, ONE DAY, (which always seem to pile up on him like this). Harry was back at the same place he started from this morning. He tried to sleep which he was in his clothes still under the just the sheets as he took his glasses off.  
  
Deep in the night though...  
  
"Sirius." Harry said quietly  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I feel like I'm taking the long way home, and I might not get back there now."  
  
"Know the feeling."  
  
"I'm going to ask Professor Dumbledore if you and Remus could stay at Privet Drive with me. It's supposed to be safe." Harry felt Sirius move closer to him.  
  
"Couldn't hurt." Although with a known werewolf and an escaped convict living with the legendary Boy Who Lived, Sirius wasn't expecting a miracle.  
  
Remus overheard this exchange. He knew Dumbledore enough to know that Harry's proposal was morally sound but legally all but impossible even with the forms Vernon Dursley left. Its not like Sirius could just sign all the forms and everything would be okay. This whole affair was now totally up to Dumbledore being a recognized elder of the magical community, Ministry of Magic or no Ministry of Magic.  
  
Lord and Lady please grant Harry his...our wish. It's just within reach.  
  
Help Dumbledore find a way to make it work  
  
I beg you. Please don't forsake us. Remus prayed silently with all of his soul. 


	3. Life With Harry

For My Loved Ones  
  
CHAPTER 3: Life With Harry  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
  
Harry woke up in his bed in the Gryffindor dormitory like always. This morning was different since his godfather and favorite teacher were bunked with him in the same large bed (two beds shifted together). To make things stranger, Harry was on summer break today, yet there he was in Hogwarts again.  
  
[What version of home awaits for me at the end of the day?] Harry thought.  
  
Sirius and Remus were shifting around. It was little uncomfortable since they were all still in their clothes from yesterday. He noticed Remus starting to wake up with the morning light shining off the silver streaks in his hair.  
  
"Morning." Remus replied. Harry just nodded. The two glanced at Sirius. "Better get him up soon or he'll sleep until noontime." He said whispering.  
  
"How do you know?" Harry inquired.  
  
"Experience." He replied simply.  
  
So Remus got up out of bed and Harry stirred Sirius awake ("Urgh...sorry if it's late." Sirius grumbled. "It's only seven." Harry said.) Sirius almost pulled the covers over his head then realized all that happened yesterday. He stumbled out of bed with Harry and noticed their wrinkled clothing. Remus picked up his wand again as Harry put his glasses on again.  
  
"Corrigo." Remus chanted softly as he waved his wand. Suddenly all of the clothes they were wearing were straightened out nicely. Even though Harry seen a great amount of magic before, this little charm made him smile...and almost had Sirius howling with laughter.  
  
  
  
"Still know all of the domestic charms, I see." He said while trying to suppress a laughing fit.  
  
"Hush, you. We need to look presentable." Remus said with a hint of embarrassment. He was the only member of the Marauders who took the "Home Sorcery" course when it was offered at Hogwarts. It saved a lot of time. Suddenly a house elf popped up in the room.  
  
"Master Dumbledore says breakfast is in teacher's lounge since the great hall is being cleaned." He said sprightly.  
  
"Tell him we'll be down there as soon as we wash up." Remus replied.  
  
"Master Dumbledore says he can't make breakfast and that Master Lupin should see Master Dumbledore after breakfast. Masters Potter and Black have run of the place until three, then should see Master Dumbledore in his office." He said with a perky attitude, then bounced out of there.  
  
[For having so many masters house-elves are quite gentle] Harry mused.  
  
So after they washed up in the showers Remus guided them to the teachers lounge. It was a very plain room with large fluffy couches and a large round table. On the table was a very large and elegant, formal English Breakfast. It had all the trimmings, muffins, pancakes, sweetmeats, ham, a large teapot full of earl gray, all on very expensive Wedgewood China, and gold utensils ("No silver...that man has all angles covered!" Sirius remarked). Remus then turned to Harry.  
  
"You must be famished after yesterday's events. Being put through such trauma would make anyone sick." Remus said as he sat down.  
  
"How did you know I got sick?" Harry said as he took the north end of the table.  
  
"You smelled like vomit." Remus and Sirius chimed in unison which after a slight pause made them smile. Remnant of a faded era when the two men were almost one person. Despite the vomit reference the three ate breakfast in the very cozy atmosphere.  
  
The plan all three worked out over breakfast was simply that Remus would, legal documents in hand, submit Harry's proposal to Dumbledore. While that was happening, Harry and Sirius would go to the hospital wing to have Harry undergo a magical test then study in the library with the findings of the test in hand. Three o'clock would be zero hour for Sirius and Harry. Just before Remus left for Dumbledore's office he whispered in Sirius' ear.  
  
"Just stay with him and try to make him feel better."  
  
"That bad, huh."  
  
"It's not impossible." Was the last thing Remus said.  
  
Harry was sitting on a bed in the hospital wing with Sirius who had Madame Pomfrey (fully informed of Sirius Black's innocence) give Harry an aether output test. Earth, wind, fire, water and aether were the basic elements of magic that wizards and witches could control by casting spells. Aether was pure spiritual force that all humans muggle or wizarding could produce because it came from the light of the soul. It was also the most important element for magic users because it guided the other four elements in spellcraft and some spells such as Expecto Patronum relied on aether exclusively. Aether also guided special powers that weren't considered spellcraft and charms like telekinesis, transfiguration and clairvoyance which is what Sirius wanted to test Harry for. Harry's active powers were the infamous Parselmouth and seeing the future (sometimes so little in the future though that it could be considered remote viewing) in his dreams. An aether output test would see how much spiritual energy Harry was emitting and if his powers had advanced. Pomfrey was waving a terminated quartz crystal and it was humming with low sound. After waving it over his scar the crystal was emitting a soft blue light.  
  
"Inner Eye fully opened." She murmured. Sirius picked up on this.  
  
Pomfrey then put the crystal away and started to write some documentation on Harry's file. Both Harry and Sirius waited patiently. She then turned to the two.  
  
"Congratulations, Mr. Potter, your powers as a wizard have officially advanced." Madame Pomfrey didn't look up from her papers. "Your soul has increased its aether output and capacity by forty percent from when I last checked you at the beginning of last year." This pleased Harry but he couldn't help but feel like a car upon hearing this.  
  
"With your Inner Eye fully opened, you are now hereby declared an official Clairvoyant produced by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." This filled Harry with pride. Madame Pomfrey then looked up from her papers and turned to Sirius. "I suggest you try and investigate what manner his power will manifest itself in."  
  
"It's visions, but I'm aware that still leaves some possible methods open."  
  
"You two may go now. If Harry's visions start to overrun his daily life come back here and I'll work with Professor Trelawney to see if we can adjust Harry's Sight. Harry knew she wasn't referring to his glasses.  
  
"Much obliged, madam." Sirius replied as they both left the room.  
  
The two had a long walk to the library and Sirius took this opportunity to explain about Harry's advancement in special power. "The way powers work is that they are intimately connected to your emotions which are produced deep within a person's soul. Anger, fear, rage, sympathy, love and strength are what shape the raw aether that you produce, which is true in regular spells too. An angry Wingardium Leviosa is bound to produce stronger results than a half-assed casting even though both are ruled by the element of wind." Harry nodded at this. "Advancement usually occurs in times of pure bliss or extreme stress. With you just coming off of the Priori Incantatem incident you were primed for this. It almost seems like it was four years in the making. The abandonment must of set you off."  
  
"Yeah, I get what you're saying, but I wasn't angry just really shell- shocked at everything that happened." Said Harry with a tinge of pensiveness.  
  
"Powers are totally shaped by the will of the sorcerer whose soul they were produced from. You could have easily shattered your front door with telekinetic force." As they rounded a corner in the hall Sirius then thought of a question to ask. "Harry when you started to advance you felt sort of out of it right?'  
  
"Lightheadness would be the word."  
  
"What were you thinking of at that moment?"  
  
[I have to be strong now.]  
  
[I'm alone now.]  
  
[No, that not right.]  
  
Those thoughts were running through Harry's mind as Sirius gave him time to respond. The lighter than air feeling in his mind didn't start at that part though. As they neared the hallway which lead to the library Harry started to get a very shy look upon him. It's suddenly came to him when his power advanced.  
  
[I wish I knew if he is safe or not]  
  
[Letters aren't enough.]  
  
[I feel alone.]  
  
[I want him in my life.]  
  
[I want to see tomorrow with him.]  
  
[I WANT TO SEE TOMORROW WITH HIM.]  
  
The last thought hammered in Harry's mind. Now he had really done it! He could have been able start fires, read thoughts in other people's minds, even move objects with his own mind and all he wanted to do was see tomorrow with his godfather.  
  
Harry chided himself. He had gotten his wish, and wasn't seeing the future and possibly the truth about matters the most desired and sought after ability in the wizarding world? The preface to his divination book said so. Harry phrased his next words very carefully. Schmaltz would be flowing freely in the next few minutes but Harry felt Sirius needed a hit before three o'clock came around.  
  
"I felt alone." Harry stated almost reverently "I thought it would be nice to spend every day with you." The two stopped walking. "I...I...wanted to know what the next day would be like...with you." He squeaked. "Then I went downstairs and had the vision of the little house in the woods where you were." Harry noticed his godfather's eyes widening. "And it felt like everything was going to be alright. I felt safe looking at you and Remus. Those feelings I had were far more important than the actual vision, though it did help me track you down I suppose." Harry's confession hit Sirius like a wrecking ball. Harry's new power was born out of longing for a family, or to be exact an escaped convict who can change into a dog back and forth that wasn't even related to him.  
  
[God, this boy deserves so much better than what was dealt to him.] Sirius thought nearly reeling from the confession. Harry received one of the rarest gifts of magic simply because he needed someone to stand by him. Sirius Black of all people! Sirius ran his hand through Harry's hair. "Let's find out the specifics of your new power shall we?" he said quietly as the two entered the library.  
  
***2:00 PM***  
  
Remus was in Dumbledore's office and had a non-stop conference with him since nine in the morning. One good thing was Dumbledore immediately agreed with Harry's proposal. The rest of the time was spent sorting out the forest of red tape that was entangling their lives. Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts had an extensive knowledge of law as well as the arcane arts. Another thing, since Sirius was on the run everything that transpired was pretty much illegal, but Dumbledore thought this would a good chance to challenge Fudge's authority, to see if he was really blind to every thing or worse, simply feigning ignorance and letting the Death Eaters have their way. Under various names and identities the two men signed each document even casting spells to alter some documents.  
  
"I'm pretty sure a Fidelius Charm on you three could solve all this." Dumbledore said lightly as he straightened the papers.  
  
"We won't go there again." Remus quipped picking up on the dark- humored joke.  
  
"That's about it. Here's my seal." Dumbledore stamped a few papers. "I'll call a few friends at the ministry to keep this matter 'sub-rosa'." He yawned. "You can tell them the news yourself and just cancel the three o'clock appointment."  
  
"We owe you our lives." Remus said very humbly. He would now be completely willing to bow and kiss Albus Dumbledore's feet anytime he asked.  
  
"Loyalty is its own reward...although in your family's case you three were more than a little burned by unfaithful hearts. I'm pleased that faith hasn't been destroyed in this day in age." Remus' heart skipped when he heard the term "family" as applied to him. "Oh yes, give this to Harry." Dumbledore said as he handed him another sealed parchment. Remus nearly fainted when he realized what the document was.  
  
It was a magical release form allowing Harry to use spellcraft outside of Hogwarts!!  
  
"I trust you and Sirius will train him for the long days ahead." That statement sobered Remus fast. Harry needs lots of training to survive another encounter with Voldemort not to mention Britain's New War. Remus just nodded. "There is a portkey back in the dormitory it's a lamp. It will take you back as far as a sewer hole in Magnolia Crescent. Thank you's can come later. Go now and be with them." He yawned again. "I have a month's worth of sleep to catch up on." As Remus left the office documents in hand he sensed that statement WASN'T a joke.  
  
***2:30 PM***  
  
In a table in the back of the library, Sirius and Harry had several books laid out with several parchments of notes. All of the books were on divination, none were part of the current Hogwarts curriculum. Since eleven in the morning they were studying various visions and dream entries of some books and some books devoted to dreams an visions. The two finally narrowed down their search and finally realized what they were looking for. Sirius looked down at his notes.  
  
"We know for sure its Clairvoyance. We ruled out Metagnomy because you said you weren't zombfied like Professor Trelawney was when she has a prediction." He shuffled some papers around. They could be as loud as they want because no else was there expect for the librarian who was doing mounds of paper work. "The deep feelings and emotions you get fall squarely in Precognition...now all we need to know is the frequency and the gateway. I hope you're not like an oracle and just get these visions randomly." Sirius said thoughtfully as Harry looked at his notes.  
  
"It would be awesome if I was a seer. They can have visions at will and nothing would surprise them." Harry said cheerfully. Sirius wasn't convinced though.  
  
"Dumbledore's a known seer and its said to put a heavy strain on the body. I'm not sure if he likes that part of himself." He said almost distantly. Harry wasn't quite getting why Dumbledore would dislike such a powerful gift.  
  
  
  
"Well I'm glad I'm not a prophet. Otherwise the visions would come out abstract."  
  
"You probably would have seen a dog and wolf playing around near a gingerbread house...." Sirius started with a chuckle.  
  
"In black and white with the Hallelujah chorus playing in the background." Harry finished with a wicked grin. Suddenly a book fell on the floor with a thud and Harry went to pick it up. Before he could let go of it to put it on the table...  
  
Another vision unfolded.  
  
// Gringotts Vault.  
  
Harry's personal vault.  
  
Harry and Remus are surveying it together.  
  
Harry sees himself fishing out something in a treasure chest in the back.  
  
It's a very large book. On the inside cover it reads...  
  
THIS BOOK OF SHADOWS BELONGS TO LILY POTTER. //  
  
Harry snapped back into the present day. Sirius was simply gazing at him.  
  
"Your aura changed. I could feel it. What did you see?" Sirius asked quietly.  
  
"I know where Mom's Book of Shadows is." Harry said quietly. A Book of Shadows was both a spellbook and personal diary. This revelation was enormous. Then it hit Sirius what the gateway of Harry's visions was. He shuffled his papers again and found the right notes.  
  
"Psychometry!"  
  
"I can see crazy people?"  
  
"No, the ability to access visions with the sense of touch which forms a vision around the touched object. You touched the front door, you see me at another front door. You touch a book..."  
  
"I see a book I will come to own!" Harry replied triumphantly. Psychometry was a good compromise between control, reliability, and instinct. If this news wasn't great enough...  
  
"Moony what's up?" Sirius said as Remus walked in the room with Hedwig in a cage in one arm and the documents in the other.  
  
"Gentlemen let's go home."  
  
  
  
***3:00 PM***  
  
Harry, his godfather and his new uncle were in the front yard of 4 Privet Drive. For the first time Harry was very, very happy to see this place. He had Hedwig's cage in his arms and both he and Sirius were simply blown away. It was like the nightmare of the fourth year was all but gone. There was a great deal of work to be done but now nothing could make Harry happier. Sirius and Remus definitely had a pre-Godric's Hollow happiness feeling about them. Remus unlocked the front door. Life with Harry began today and since no muggles were around...  
  
"Show us a domestic charm Harry." Remus said as he handed him his wand. All three were inside the house. Harry knew of one domestic charm that he seen Mrs. Weasley use before.  
  
"Claudo!" Harry said dramatically as he waved the wand with his free hand.  
  
The door closed shut. 


	4. Significant Other

For My Loved Ones  
  
Disclaimer: Same as Chapter 1. Language Alert.  
  
CHAPTER 4: Significant Other  
  
"Moony here really turned me on to this." Sirius said as he took the styrofoam cartons out of a white bag with kanji printed on it that Harry put on floor. Harry, Remus, and Sirius on the way to 4 Privet Drive (now their home!) in Little Whinging from Hogwarts called a local take-away place on a pay phone. Harry assumed that they would be eating pizza or Chinese food (both sadly would be a new experience for him) but he was surprised when Remus called a quaint Japanese take-away place. He was also surprised that Remus could use a pay phone and not make a scene about it. He could just imagine how embarrassing it would be if Arthur Weasley tried to make a simple phone call. When the delivery guy arrived at the house with the goods in an hour and as Harry gave him the muggle pounds that all three had pooled together he noticed the luggage and empty house.  
  
"Just moving in?" he asked  
  
"Feels like it!" Harry replied cheerfully as the delivery guy left.  
  
Remus also brought a large bottle of Pepsi on the way home and was just getting it out of the fridge that was sort of working thanks to another domestic charm which cooled things off. He then transfigured three acorns he picked up outside into proper cups even though he knew Sirius would drink it straight out of the bottle like it were whiskey. They had situated themselves in the empty dining room sitting on the floor. Harry just now thought of what the delivery guy must have thought when he saw a very grubby Sirius Black in tattered wizard robes no less pick up the food. Harry was now looking at some very strange looking food which was saying a lot since he was a wizard: sushi, yaki-soba noodles, gyoza dumplings with soy sauce, yakitori resembling shish-kabobs, and most unusal item in the random assortment of things Remus ordered-steamed meat buns. The off-white buns looked liked they would be a dessert but when Harry took a bite out of them they tasted had a delicious savory taste to them and apparently they were the favorite of Sirius as well because they had ordered a stack of twenty buns and had just one order of everything else. Basically the three sat on the floor and started to pig out. Sirius devoured the buns and had meat crumbs all over his face.  
  
"I never, NEVER thought I would get to enjoy this again!!" Sirius roared between bites. Harry looked on at Sirius as he picked up the two liters of soda and and gulped some of it down ignoring the cups. An exasperated sigh from Remus just made Harry smile...for a little bit until he noticed something about Sirius. He was eating in the exact same manner back when he first got reunited with him back at the cave earlier in Harry's fourth year and in the teacher's lounge despite the elegant surroundings. Sirius ate every meal like it would be his last, a habit from spending thirteen years in pure hell. He was eating in a manner that was feral and desperate.  
  
["Poor old Snuffles...he must really like you, Harry...imagine having to live off rats."] came a memory of what Ron once told him. This made Harry wince inwardly. Harry had shelter, clothes and food even if he had to endure the causal abuse from Vernon...verbal and physical. Harry thought it paled compared to being tortured and mentally raped by Dementors. Remus' voice shook Harry out of his grim thoughts.  
  
"So what will you try first?" Remus asked as he got out the chopsticks and plastic forks. Harry snapped back to cheerful mode as he picked up the plate of yaki-soba.  
  
"What's this?" he asked  
  
"Yaki-soba, just think of it as Japanese spaghetti." Remus said as Harry endearingly plunged the plastic fork into the mess of noodles, chicken and ginger. "I thought this would be great for Sirius here to eat something favorite of his again."  
  
"When did two wizards ever get the chance to eat exotic take-out?" Harry asked between bites.  
  
"It's not really exotic when you have lots of it all the time." Sirius said after polishing off his sixth meat bun. "Remus and I used to hit this Japanese take-away place all the time in London's Asian district." He said taking another swig of soda-pop.  
  
"When was this?"  
  
"After our graduation, James left with Lily to live at Godric's Hollow and I took a very long road trip with Remus on my bike, staying at crappy dive motels and finding places to hide during full moon, it was excellent." He then got really quiet at this. Remus knew the reason behind that road trip that lasted four months. Every one said goodbye to their friends at Hogwarts during their class graduation. A war was impending and no one knew if they would see their friends ever again. Even the Marauders the ultimate friends of Hogwarts School were parting ways with James making overtures that he was going to ask Lily to marry him. Remus and Sirius were just coming to terms with the fact that their friendship had gotten much deeper than ever. More intimate, more possessive and most tellingly they started to do things exclusively between them two without telling James, Peter or Lily. Instead of being a hyperactive prankster all the time Sirius in his final year would perform secret magic spells with Remus in a hidden corridor because Remus thought they would be interesting to cast. Instead of goading some Slytherins over a cheap house rivalry, Sirius would go to library with Remus and quietly read classical poetry some of which Sirius would make dirty comments about making Remus smile. That last week Remus felt extremely distraught that Sirius would move on.  
  
***The night before graduation day***  
  
They were outside the castle in the warm summer night in the new moon. James was practically the King of Gryffindor House and had hosted a huge party. Remus generally didn't like parties and had slipped just outside to a very still whomping willow that Peter had turned off for him before slipping back to the party. Remus just wanted to be alone and collect his thoughts and was preparing himself to be alone again, just like before he met up with the Marauders. Sirius had showed up right after Peter had left, not unexpectedly since the past month Sirius wouldn't leave Remus' side once even being on his best behavior so he wouldn't get detention and cut into his time with him.  
  
"I thought you'd be 'entertaining' some girl tonight." Remus said as Sirius sat on the grass beside him. Sirius was notorious for being very fast and loose with girls and also hung out around those kind of girls.  
  
"Not tonight, Remmie, not when there so much to lose tomorrow." Sirius said quietly. Remmie had been Sirius' private nickname for Remus. Moony was for their circle of friends to use.  
  
"I have nothing to go home to." Remus said.  
  
"Neither do I." Sirius came from a broken home and Remus had all been but abandoned by his parents due to the lycanthropy he had since five.  
  
"Y..you've b..been the best this month and for all seven years we've been together...I...I'll miss..." Remus began quavering.  
  
"Stop. I've made a decision about you." Sirius cut in emphatically. "Being alone is all fucked up. Everyone here today is scared of being alone, scared that the winds of change will destroy them after graduation. Just living day by day is hard enough when you have your friends behind you but being on your own, dealing with other people, suffering through hard times, and trying to make your way is a hell of a lot worse when you're by yourself. You of all people should know this." Remus nodded at this. Sirius then took a deep breath. "You're a very sensitive and kind person who wouldn't hurt a mouse no matter what Mr. Big Bad wants you to do." Mr. Big Bad was their private nickname for Remus' condition. "This great world will burn you alive Remmie, especially since you're different from all of them. I know because I'm usually with you when those mother-fuckers try to put you on the stake. I care about you too much to let them do that to you. Even though we all became Marauders on the same day, I met you first before James and Peter came along. This thing I feel about you it goes deeper than our little quartet. Screw traditions, I refuse to part ways with you in my life." Sirius let the words die. Seven years had come to this. Remus' instinct told him Sirius was in it for the long haul as his personal guardian.  
  
"How long will you stay?" Remus whispered.  
  
"We're family now. You can't get rid of me." Sirius said in the same quiet tone.  
  
"Okay. Welcome to the Pack...but you were always in."  
  
"I know. We'll leave on my bike tommorrow and we'll try and outrace this fucking world Remmie." Sirius said tenderly in spite the coarse language.  
  
***4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging***  
  
It was late afternoon after the guys finished their gloriously low- class take out feast. Harry had a quill and was writing something on a piece of parchment. It was a list of things they would need: furniture, plates, clothes, food, beds, and toiletries. Harry didn't worry about costs though as he was loaded. Sirius though was concerned.  
  
"Look at this place, it's big." Sirius said dazed. It really wasn't that big, it just seemed that way because it was empty. "We've got to do something or Harry will go broke just furnishing this place, not to mention feed us. We've got to last through the summer, you know."  
  
"And the rest of our lives." Remus said deep in thought. Sirius was struck by this realization. "I've got something in mind that will help with some of the burden though." He then turned to Harry. "Harry, may I borrow some Craft supplies from your trunk?"  
  
"Sure, Remus what's the occasion?" He said not looking up from his parchment.  
  
"Moving Day Spell, I just need four white candles."  
  
"I'll get them." Harry had heard of the Moving Day Spell and realized Remus was going to magically transfer his things from his cabin to his new house. Harry got the candles from the trunk and also knew that they would mark the boundary for the transfer point. "How wide an area?" he asked.  
  
"To play it safe put one in each corner of the living room."  
  
"That's it?" the living room was a large place but the spell was meant for an entire house of things. Harry put one candle in each corner and Remus lit them with the tip of his wand. Harry and Sirius stood in the dining room as Remus recited the incantation:  
  
{ I bring my possessions upon this place, throughout all time and space }  
  
{ They follow me without the urge to roam, because this place is my home }  
  
"MIGRARE!!" Remus said with authority as a swirl of white sparks spins through the living room. All of Remus Lupin's items from the cabin show up in the living room...all of them. His pots, pans, dishes, couch, bed and two trunks full of precious books and Craft supplies fit very neatly into the living room.  
  
"Hey, Moony let me use your energy trail again." said Sirius  
  
"Okay, just let me get my things out of here." He then went into the dining room while Harry and Sirius went on the stairs. "Accio, possessions." Remus chanted as all of his items floated from the dining room from the living room without knocking over the candles. Harry noticed how strong Remus was magically if he could summon all of his things with just one Accio. Remus then gave Sirius his wand. "What do you have anyway?" Remus asked. This was a valid question because Sirius was on the run and couldn't stay in one place.  
  
"Just a little something I kept for the day I would stop and stay at a place for more than a year." Sirius said. "Migrare." He chanted simply. Another swirl of white sparks spun through the living room. A large wooden chest appeared. Remus smiled at this. It was Sirius' prank chest. This was where Sirius kept all the things he bought from the joke shops in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, while staying at Hogwarts. It was also where he kept his porno magazines and his personal bong complete with the weed. He was so bad back then.  
  
"You kept those things?" Remus said with a smile as he extingushed the candles and put them away.  
  
"Well, the chest." Sirius said as Remus gave him a curious look. He wanted to know what that meant.  
  
"What's in there?" Harry asked.  
  
"Take a look." Sirius said a little too quietly for Remus' taste as he opened it. The next sight made Harry excited and Remus absolutely cringe.  
  
It was filled with weapons. Swords, knives, mace, morningstar, iron chains and a battle axe. What was once used to house merriment was now used to house objects that kill.  
  
"Whoa...Mr. Padfoot you are quite the bad ass!" Harry said very impressed. Remus didn't like it at all though especially seeing one of the knives as pure silver.  
  
"Just an insurance policy." Sirius said with a sad smile. Both Remus and Harry realized he was stocking up for an attack by either Death-eaters or dark creatures, magical protection over the house or not.  
  
"Well, let's get situated." Remus said with a noticeable tension in his voice. It was nighttime when they got the house in decent shape. They put Harry's luggage in his room again and the kitchen items in the kitchen. Remus then drafted an intresting living arrangement. Sirius and he would stay in the master bedroom together so they could convert Dudley's bedroom into a Spellcraft study where the house's Craft supplies and books could be stored. Harry noticed Sirius getting a little red in the face but not by much. Sirius stored the War Chest in the cupboard under the stairs which Harry assumed was left there to remind him of the Dursley's treatment of him. Sirius wondered why Harry wouldn't go near the cupboard at all but didn't say anything. Then the three decided to turn in early so they could get an early start of tomorrow's activities...mainly shopping. Harry was tucked in bed by Sirius like a five-year old...and he reveled in it.  
  
"I hope this will work out. You're still a fugitive you know." Harry said quietly.  
  
"I'll worry about that, you just rest okay?" "You earned it." He then kissed Harry's scar and stood up.  
  
"Love you, Sirius."  
  
"I love you too, poppet, always." As his godfather left the bedroom, questions hammered into Harry's mind, money being a major one. He had a fortune but could it last as long as it needed to? Could they all get along for the long haul? What was in his mother's Book of Shadows? Would Voldemort attempt to kill him here? Sirius seemed to think so even with the protection spells covering the house.  
  
Did Sirius just call him poppet??  
  
In the master bedroom Remus and Sirius were in the same bed for the first time in over thirteen years. They were on Remus' ragged twin sized bed under the covers. If you lit a candle it could ignite all the tension in the room. They didn't touch each other at all but...  
  
" I love you, Sirius."  
  
"I love you too, Remmie, always."  
  
The pair still had a lot of intimacy issues to overcome however. 


	5. Home and Abroad

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer  
  
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1; Language Alert  
  
OFFICIAL THEME SONG: "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch  
  
CHAPTER 5: Home and Abroad  
  
  
  
The morning sky above Surrey was gray and hazy. It was about to rain for sure and the question was when. Sirius Black was the first person up in the house and was sitting in the little couch in the living room with a coffee table. The house was doing better since Remus put his meager belongings in it but it still seemed cold and bare. Sirius tried to make breakfast in the kitchen but hadn't taken into account all the utilities were shut off. In theory if Harry and Remus weaved the right spells they all could live without electricity, water, gas, heat, and air conditioning. He also forgot all that Remus had was muggle instant coffee and exactly one egg which he was saving for Harry. The coffee would have to wait until either Harry or Remus got up to magically heat it up. Thus, in his same dusty, gray robes Sirius was in for god knows how long he was in the living room at first light. There was no television or radio so Sirius was alone with his thoughts. In wizarding society a household was traditionally expected to be run by the eldest person of the house. Despite his frail appearance Remus Lupin was one year younger than Sirius so following traditions it was up to him to make sure Harry and Remus were safe and protected, to make sure they were well fed, and above all make sure they were happy. Sirius had so many responsibilities already, which included tracking down Peter Pettigrew, and being an agent of Dumbledore that being the Eldest seemed like a overwhelming weight on him. Sirius would gladly bear this new responsibility though. He needed to redeem himself for Remus and Harry especially after his spectacular failure of protecting Harry during the Flesh, Blood and Bone ritual which Harry had to endure alone. Not to mention simply not being there for Harry and Remus for thirteen years and letting James and Lily die. The fact both Remus and Harry loved him deeply still didn't help him feel better at all.  
  
[Dumbledore gave us a false peace. We might not get a 'happily ever after'] Sirius thought grimly as he looked at the little flowered wallpaper.  
  
The set-up was very delicate. Harry and Remus could travel legally in the wizarding world despite Remus' condition which made most people shun him. Sirius could only travel in the wizarding world in his Padfoot guise and had to be real careful at that. In the muggle world the three had to come up with false idenities to explain why they were living in an abandoned house. To top it off, Sirius believed that if the new war had started at the conclusion of the third task, Voldemort won't limit his attacks during Harry's school year anymore. Not to mention they had to deal with Remus' "monthlies". Sirius knew he had to summon a strength far beyond than what he had in prison, the den of the Dementors. It was painful but if it was for Moony and the pup he would do it. He had to. They were all he had left in his pathetic excuse of a life. Harry came downstairs finally and plopped down beside him still bleary-eyed.  
  
"Hey." Harry said.  
  
"Hey yourself kid." Sirius replied.  
  
"Feels unreal. I'm actually happy to wake up for once."  
  
"Makes two of us." Sirius said hoarsely. It was good to wake up for once and not feel like screaming.  
  
"While Remus and I are out we'll get some decent muggle clothes for you." It was decided that while Harry and Remus made a Gringotts run Sirius would stay behind and "lay low" then the three would go out to a muggle supermarket and get some food for the month. "Hey, how are you going to move around in the muggle world anyway?" "Everyone knows you're a supposedly notorious criminal."  
  
"Remus told me that Dumbledore rigged all the television and radio broadcasts to erase the muggles memories of me starting today, except for the Dursleys...without the Ministry's knowledge of course." Sirius said quietly. Dumbledore was moving heaven and earth for Harry. It had to be for Harry of course, no one would do that much for HIM, save for Remus. Harry looked a little uncomfortable.  
  
"The conspiracy begins at home." Harry mumbled.  
  
"No shit...erm sorry." Sirius said catching himself.  
  
" s'okay." Harry said with a slight grin. Sirius had to admit even his best case scenario of living with Harry was quite unlike this. Since Harry jumped on the idea of living with him two years ago Sirius thought he would just get a flat in London for them and support Harry's education with an assortment of part-time jobs...probably bounty-hunting. Never in his wildest dreams did he believe he would be living in an upper middle-class neighborhood in Surrey with him. Only in a space of several tense hours did they get to know each other in both years...and several hundred owl posts in between. Harry seemed absolutely desperate to leave this place, seeing as he made so many disparaging remarks about his relatives which lead Sirius to ask a question...  
  
"So how did your family really treat you anyway?" he asked gently.  
  
"Okay...We've had this feud since I was little because I could use magic, but otherwise it's been so-so." This was a flat out lie and both of them knew it. Harry felt very ashamed that anyone would find out that the legendary "Boy Who Lived" was a disgusting creature to his closest relatives. He even felt bad talking about it to Ron and Hermione so he just did a little...editing to his stories. Sirius felt the need to push further, albeit gently.  
  
"Harry, you don't have to hide anything...not from me at least."  
  
"W...Well...I..." Harry began with a fresh wave of guilt in his stomach.  
  
"BOY, GET YOUR ARSE DOWNSTAIRS AND FIX US SOME BREAKFAST!!" roared the far too familiar voice of Vernon Dursley. Sirius immediately sprang out of the couch and Harry seemed to want to curl into a fetal position. Sirius then scanned the kitchen and dining room and found no one. Remus bolted from the bedroom to the stairs wand in hand, still in his nightclothes.  
  
"What the hell was that?" Remus said sharply  
  
"Sounded like someone else was in the house but I couldn't find anyone." Sirius said with a look of alarm. Harry got out of the couch and peeked out the window. No car in the driveway...no one at the front door. "Must be the people next door." Sirius said easing just a little bit.  
  
"I'll check the wards around the house." Remus said as he left to go to the basement he then added "Honestly who would treat their kids like that?" Harry sat down on the couch quietly and said nothing knowing all to well who the voice was...even if the fat pig wasn't there.  
  
Harry and Remus left the house at ten to go to Diagon Alley by floo powder. They would have breakfast at the Leaky Cauldron and Sirius would have the lone egg, then they'd go to Gringotts, get some money, BUY SIRIUS SOME CLOTHES, and head back. Harry dressed in a bright red shirt and denim pants and put his Hogwarts black cloak over it. A warm sense of pride that made Harry feel good to actually be a wizard in public came over him even if the "public" was a massive secret society that no one else knew existed. Harry and Remus were in the pub having sausage and eggs with Remus reading The Prophet. There were whispers in the tavern and on the street. Harry wasn't sure if it was because of his notoriety or that he was breaking bread with a Dark Creature. Remus' heightened senses as a werewolf told him it was both. The whispers were making Harry uncomfortable so he asked for a piece of the paper. It was the society section. Harry read the gossip section which made him chuckle as it was implying that the Malfoys may be heading for divorce court. He read the horoscopes which made him warm. He was part of that world now too, the world of the future. The obituaries...Sara Avenworth, Geiry Colgware, Cedric Diggory....Harry immediately folded the paper and finished eating without a second thought.  
  
Back on Privet Drive, Sirius Black was home alone. After finishing off his egg, he went upstairs to the new study to read some books because he was bored. As he made his way into the room and was going to open up the curtains to let in some light he saw a very remarkable sight for mid- morning time. He opened the curtains to see a nighttime sky complete with a full moon which naturally made Sirius jump, taking a second look though he only saw a normal daytime sky, overcast. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he decided to lie down in his bedroom instead. The room that he shared with Remus was very simple. It just had the old dusty bed and few books on a barrel used as a nightstand. The closet, which had only Remus' things, had approximately three robes in great condition with one tweed suit used in case he needed to "go muggle". Sirius figured that all three would "go muggle" so they needed more clothes. As he lay on the bed he reminisced on how he and Remus when they were younger would just lie around in bed all day naked in some cheap motel talking about their lives or anything else they would think of. Of course both of them would be naked at the time.  
  
[I hope he gets used to me soon...] he started to think before he heard another voice.  
  
"Kill the spare."  
  
This made Sirius jump up. No, there wasn't anyone there. He decided to check the protection wards downstairs anyway. As he walked barefoot on the hardwood stairs he heard another sound outside, he made his way to the kitchen and looked outside. Crouched outside in the house next door tending to the flowers was a Dementor!! Sirius blinked his eyes. A young lady was next door tending to the marigolds before the afternoon rain came. Sirius was not liking this at all. Not one bit. Either the wards were breached or he was starting to go insane, and since Remus checked the wards this morning...  
  
Harry and Remus were in Harry's vault at Gringotts Bank. Harry had already got a balance inquiry from the goblins up front and was shoveling galleons in his money purse. After he finished he remembered his vision from the Hogwarts library and went and got his mother's Book of Shadows from a chest in the back of the vault. Remus let out a small gasp.  
  
"I know. It'll be like talking with the past though." Harry said quietly as he checked the front cover. *THIS BOOK OF SHADOWS BELONGS TO LILY POTTER* They then went back to the front office from the depths of the vaults. Harry exchanged one half of the galleons for pounds and started to walk out of the bank when they ran into someone who could only be described as a leather clad biker with long red hair. It was Bill Weasley, who worked at Gringotts.  
  
"Hey, Harry!"  
  
"Lo, Bill!"  
  
Harry introduced Remus and Bill to each other and heard a piece of interesting news from Bill. It seems the Weasleys knew all about the "arrangement" at 4 Privet Drive. One of the "friends" at the Ministry was of course Arthur Weasley.  
  
"Even though no one knows about this, Fudge is really pissed at Dumbledore anyway. The transcript of his end of year speech made the Prophet. I think if anything else were to happen he would move for Dumbledore's immediate dismissal." Bill explained. This made Harry uneasy.  
  
"I think Dumbledore wants to challenge Fudge's authority just a smidge though." Remus said to ease Harry. It didn't work. Actually Harry really didn't care for the Minister of Magic right now, he was afraid that if they had a face to face meeting he would get the strong urge to smack him around.  
  
"Mum and Dad want to come over later on in the week to see how Harry's doing and if you're settling in okay. Is that alright with you guys?" Harry glanced at Remus.  
  
"Yes, there are some details that need to be worked out between all of us. Your mother must give you updates on everybody everyday if you found out so soon." Remus said.  
  
"Religiously." He groaned then turned to Harry. "You're a pretty lucky kid having a werewolf and a hardened escaped con guarding you." He said cheerfully as he left. Remus wasn't at all sure if he was lucky. He wanted Harry to have a normal life. However "normal" and "Harry Potter" were fiercely antithetical concepts, even since his birth. Harry then spoke up.  
  
"Hey, Remus, please tell me that Padfoot used to dress like that."  
  
"Definitely." Remus grinned along with Harry. Clothes shopping would be a FUN experience especially in muggle London. "Let me change into some muggle clothing at Leaky Cauldron and I'll show you what our Padfoot liked to dress in."  
  
Harry and Remus returned home late afternoon via the fireplace again dressed in muggle clothes. Harry simply had his Hogwarts cloak off whereas Remus had a long sleeved white shirt with khaki pants. They had a bunch of shopping bags with them including one from Harrod's. The house was very quiet even if it just had one person in it.  
  
"We're home!" Harry said. Harry then saw a very grave looking Sirius just staring at them...with a sword in his hand.  
  
"Padfoot?" Remus said cautiously. Sirius then went over to them and started to sniff on them. Then the tension in the room broke as he recognized them as real beings.  
  
"Something's in the house." Sirius whispered. Harry put the packages down and they looked at each other.  
  
"That's impossible. The protection wards haven't been compromised." Remus said quietly.  
  
"Then I'm going insane." He was barely audible to Harry but Remus heard him.  
  
"Harry, could you set up the table in the living room. I'm going to help Padfoot get washed upstairs." Remus said as Harry got a bucket of fried chicken from one of the packages.  
  
"Sure." He said not liking the quietness of the house as the two older wizards went upstairs.  
  
The two were in their room upstairs and Sirius told about his day since ten o' clock, including a Dementor scare. He was shaken as he whispered to Remus.  
  
"I can't go mental...not now, Harry needs me...you need me...It's my duty to take care of this family. I didn't want to blow this second chance after I fucked up Godric's..."  
  
"You DIDN'T." Remus interjected firmly. "And whatever is happening now we'll get through it. Some boggart might have gotten in undetected. I'm always leaving them around in suitcases and trunks you know." He continued gently. He then wrapped his arms around Sirius' body. "I seriously doubt you would snap now. Azkaban is a cruel teacher...but you left it behind." Remus did take into account there might be lingering scars from that place though. He then led Sirius into the bathroom and got his wand out.  
  
"Pluvia." He chanted as a miniature rain cloud formed on the shower ceiling. The rain water that fell was quite warm as it fell through Sirius' hands. It was awakening long forgotten sensations. He gave Remus a feral, half-cocked grin that said everything.  
  
"Not here." Remus whispered as he faintly blushed. Sirius took the wand and pointed it at the closed door.  
  
"Obseratus." He said as he pointed to the door. It magically locked. "Yes, here." was his husky reply.  
  
Harry fortunately didn't have to use the bathroom as he was downstairs setting the coffee table as the dining room table because they didn't buy one yet. He put the dishes on the table and the bucket of chicken too. After a while both Sirius and Remus came downstairs both cleaned and dried thanks to some more magic. Harry noticed all the stubble from Sirius' face was shaved and looked glowing as he was in a terrycloth robe Remus took upstairs. Sirius' hair now had a silken look also instead of a straw look he'd had. Remus looked quite subdued in his robes he now wore, the muggle clothing discarded in the bathroom.  
  
"So you guys took turns in the shower?" Harry said as all three sat on the couch. Remus just nodded mutely. "What's up, Sirius?' he asked.  
  
"We think there might be a monster in the house. I don't know if it's a ghost or not. We have to get this straightened out before the Weasleys come over Friday night." He replied quite offhandedly. Harry wasn't overly concerned because of the tone of his godfather's voice. The three then started to eat up the chicken and biscuits, crumbs getting on the couch. After finishing up Sirius got up and inspected the clothes bags. Black t- shirts, some with Led Zeppelin, The Doors, and even Pink Floyd on the front. Jeans, black and grey denim, low rise, vintage wash along with army green camouflaged pants with steeled toed combat boots. He even saw a pair of hiking boots which he smiled at.  
  
"Excellent taste, Moony."  
  
"Thanks." Remus had a serene air about him. Sirius then noticed the Harrod's bag. Harry started to blush.  
  
"Think of it as fourteen years worth of missed birthdays." He stammered. Sirius got the package out of the bag and opened it, revealing a black leather jacket. Sirius giggled but upon closer inspection he noticed it wasn't a biker's jacket it was a form fitting, IMPORTED, DESIGNER, FANCY EUROPEAN MALE black leather jacket. Sirius felt that just radiated class. It almost felt sacred. Harry obviously blew a lot of poundage on it.  
  
"Harry love, you didn't..."  
  
"You deserve it." Harry cut in flatly.  
  
"I'm going stir crazy. Since the muggle authorities are no longer aware of me let's get to the market to get ready for our guests Friday. We can discuss our house situation tonight." Harry nodded and noted Sirius was slightly anxious to leave. After the Vernon freak out this morning Harry was ready to leave also. So Sirius went upstairs with his new clothes, and Remus went back to the bathroom to get his clothes. Remus got downstairs first and waited with Harry down at the front door. The sight of Sirius in muggle clothes almost blinded them. With his new silky long hair, and clean shaven face in his low rise, grey denim pants, with the Jim Morrison shirt and sophisticated black leather jacket, Sirius Black looked...hauntingly beautiful. He was still very pale and gaunt but it worked for him. He reached a Lucius Malfoy level of cold-steel beauty, but instead of a light- bearer quality Sirius was firmly in the "shadow personified" camp. It was cutting into Remus like a silver knife...and he was enjoying it. As the three walked out the door, Harry picked up the discarded gray robes that Sirius had lived in for fourteen years.  
  
"Hey Sirius, what should I do with this one?" Harry asked.  
  
"Burn it." 


	6. Reunion Under Fire

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  

CHAPTER 6: Reunion Under Fire

            _ Sirius Black, the former Prisoner of Azkaban was standing in the **mother of all checkout lines in a muggle supermarket in Little Whinging with his family just like everyone else. He, Remus and Harry had already finished the day's shopping and were waiting...and waiting. Some old lady wrote a check and everyone was waiting patiently to the best of their abilities. The three had been waiting for over twenty minutes and the other lines were full. You wouldn't feel alive like a human being right now, you wouldn't feel like this is the best feeling in the world, you wouldn't appreciate being a just **__doing things everyone else does no matter how inane...unless you were Sirius Black. Among the tension, and stress and price checks, Sirius felt alive. The same couldn't be said for Harry and Remus who had gotten tired after ten minutes of waiting. They were still three groups of people away from getting their own groceries scanned. Sirius was impressed how supermarkets had changed since the early eighties. Harry noticed how the housewife behind them was blushing at Sirius. He did look impressive now, designer black leather jacket playing no small role in his transformation from haggard convict, to a sharply dressed, ashen faced modern guy. Of course the long, silky, black hair and gray eyes he had had a lot to do with it too. Harry tugged at the jacket._

            "I was planning on getting you a duster but Remus said you'd stick out too much."  Harry said smiling.

            "Yeah, I have to keep a low profile you know." They started to move forward. There were absolutely no wizards in Surrey today except for the three that were in the line so it was relatively safe to hide in a crowd of muggles. Sirius always had an easy time passing himself off as muggle. Harry then fully inspected his godfather's clothing and how it fit.

            "I was afraid that everything would be too tight or we'd have to make alterations but everything fits well." Harry said as Remus pushed the cart up more.

"Remus sure seems to know every part of your body!" he added quite innocently. Remus turned a soft pink and Sirius noticed this.

            "Well, he memorized every piece of it since Hogwarts." He said with his now patented half-cocked grin. Remus just got redder but remained silent. 

            "Hey, Snuff, what are we going to do about the full moon?" Harry said seriously. (_Snuff? Remus mouthed silently)_

            "I definitely have a few ideas about that, but we'll have to wait until we get home." The three moved up in line again. "Hey, Remus. Why did you tag along? I know my way around a supermarket." 

            "Because you would have bought nothing but junk food, that's why. You were Honeydukes best customer even out of school." Sirius looked huffy and Harry gave another grin and then wondered how a gentle man like Remus Lupin could be a vicious killer once every month. He kept his concerns to himself though as they FINALLY put their groceries on the conveyer belt. Once they got outside the store it started to sprinkle rain drops but they didn't mind. Remus was carrying the heaviest bag and with his preternatural strength he seemed to be only carrying a feather. They noticed the muggle paper boy whiz by as they made their way up Privet Drive.

            "Awfully late isn't he?" Remus commented as he sidestepped some dog droppings on the sidewalk which he smelled a mile away.

            "Well I didn't hear him this..."

            "**HOLY SHITE!!" the boy screamed terrified. They ran over to him and realized he was at their home. He stumbled off his bike because on the front door step was a vicious growling wolf! Harry, Remus and Sirius all saw it. Sirius had an idea how to handle it though.**

            "What the problem?" Sirius said non-chalantly.

            "L..l..look." The boy pointed at the front door, but as Sirius predicted nothing was there anymore.

            "Nothing to see here, just our doorstep." He called as the boy took off on his bike dazed. As they made their way inside Sirius groaned "That sort of crap has been going on all day." 

            "We all saw it, but it seems too fleeting of an image for a boggart...and not tanglible enough for a sword." Remus said. 

            "Confirmation I'm not mental is always a good thing." Sirius grunted as they closed the front door. Harry and Sirius went to the kitchen with the paper bags and put them on the countertop. Harry looked concerned. "Don't fret. We'll have a research party and then get rid of...whatever, before the Weasleys show up. We've got the whole week."  

            "It's Wednesday."

            "Aw, bugger!" Sirius complained as he put away the milk. Remus was in the other room and saw the sword just lying out in the living room, so picked it up and was going to put in the war chest in the cupboard. When he made his way to the cupboard underneath the stairs and opened it....

            "H..Harry!?" Remus saw, instead of the large wooden chest, a pale, thin and battered eleven-year old Harry Potter...for about ten seconds then the chest appeared again. This disturbed him...he'd have to talk with Sirius soon about what he was seeing and hearing. The rain started to fall stronger outside. Remus made his way back to the living room and then noticed the empty chicken boxes. With a small grumble he picked them up and put them in an empty grocery bag because they didn't have a trash can yet. Sirius and Harry then walked out of the kitchen. Remus then gave Harry a glance real quick before saying. 

            "Sirius and I will go to the study and look up illusion demons. You should go take a shower then read through your mother's Book of Shadows. I know you've been wanting to." Remus said still looking at Harry, top and bottom.

            "You used a rain charm right? I hope I get the temperature right...and no bolts of lightning." Harry said thinking back to his charms course with Flitwick. 

            "You only need to worry if its cast outdoors. The atmosphere won't interfere if it's cast in the house." Remus explained. As Harry walked upstairs Remus stopped him. "Harry..."

            "Yeah."

            "Um, if anything's wrong you'd tell us right?"

            "Sure, I don't want to get electrocuted in my own bathroom." Harry said as he walked up the stairs again.

            "That's not what I meant." Remus said quietly.

            "You think something's going on with Harry too?" Sirius said in Remus' ear.

            "The only way another Dark Creature other than I could get in is if someone else invited it in."

            "Or if it was created in the house." Sirius said which was more along the lines of what Remus was thinking. Harry was then in bathroom taking a shower with a properly executed tropical atmosphere rain charm washing over him. Sirius and Remus were in the converted bedroom study looking up Poltergeists, fear entities and ghosts in several expert level Defense Against Dark Arts books. Harry was just simply thinking about Uncle Vernon and how he heard his voice that morning. How he'd worked so hard for the Dursleys even when he was little. How Vernon would hit him even at the slightest provocation. That was all over now since he was with his loved ones, even if they lived in the same house. It's not like Vernon could come back and...

            "You freak excuse of a boy! Get out of there and let me use the loo!" snarled the familiar voice of Vernon Dursley.

            "What?" Harry said palpable fear in his voice

            "I said, I need to go soon...red light!' said the familiar, if a little frenetic, voice of Sirius. 

             "Okay!" Harry, a little shaken then took the wand and pointed it at the cloud above him. _"Finite Incantatem!" he said with authority. The rain cloud dissipated and Harry then pointed at the door where the fluffy towel was hanging. __"Accio, towel." The towel then flew across the room to Harry's hand and he wrapped the towel around his waist._

             "It's all yours." Harry then said as Sirius came in. As Sirius passed by him he saw a horrific sight. Harry's freshly washed flesh was covered in bruises, some shaped like hands...all across his body. Sirius let out a gasp but when Harry turned around they all were gone. "What's wrong?" He asked.

              "Who did this to you?" he asked coldly

               "Excuse me?"                                                                                                            

               "That..thing was here." He sputtered. 

              "I know, it has such bad taste. For a minute I thought Uncle Vernon wanted to use the bathroom." Harry said quietly. As Sirius sat down on the toilet seat he thought of what Remus said in the study about seeing Harry in the cupboard. He knew Vernon Dursley was not a pleasant man. He'd met him when the Marauders spent the summer hanging around James and Lily before the wedding. He hated magic and everything wizarding. 

               _He couldn't take it out on Harry though. He's just a defenseless child. Sirius thought. Then the memories came back. Harry said everyday was like a fight for survival, that they had a long feud because he had the ability to use magic. It started to piece together. He had to know what was going on in the house though first. As he got up and washed his hands and flushed the toilet a thought hit him with such total simplicity it hurt. __You moron! Anyone callous enough to abandon a child in a house certainly could abuse him...even do disgusting, humiliating things to him! His instinct was overpowering. Harry was abused by Vernon and this..thing, being, whatever was feeding off it. But that didn't explain the full moon, wolf, and Dementors....__Fuck! It's feeding off all of us! This foreign entity had a potential to hurt them severely if not physically then mentally. They didn't need to be hurt mentally anymore. And he definitely wanted to know where the "Kill the spare" remark came from. Now, Sirius had a dilemma on his hands. Try to get Harry to open up about what happened while living with the Dursleys could make this being stronger than ever. If they got rid of the being first Harry just might keep silent about his pain. He would ingest it and let it feed upon his mind until it rots away the light inside his soul. __You should know, Padfoot, you're the expert. He thought glumly. He decided to approach the matter delicately in the morning giving him time to think. It wasn't his style but with an unknown entity and Harry's already fragile condition he wasn't going to push his luck. Harry had a nice heating charm in his bed and was in a sweatshirt reading his mother's book. Lily's handwriting was beautiful and it told of her daily life. Since the book was a graduation present, practically every other entry was about James. One entry though stuck out..._

                   _Hogwart's__ view on the power of magic is so limited. As if anybody could learn everything from textbooks. Severus was right, only when you're outside the walls and books can you fully develop the energy of magic. I'm so happy James agrees with me. I think Ollivander is sooo overrated. You don't NEED a wand to conjure magic since the power comes directly from your soul. It's just a tool to harness energy. The first witches didn't need wands... _

                   Harry was a more than a little surprised. For a minute Lily sounded like Dumbledore and was really wondering why she would have ANYTHING to do with Snape. As Harry looked through the book he noticed some pages were written in strange languages and symbols. He then realized those were the pages where Lily wrote her spells. He'd have to ask Remus and Hermione to help him translate. Harry did wonder though, even though James was the golden-boy animagus...was Lily more powerful than James in the arcane arts? He thought she could have been like Hermione, but the pages that she wrote writhed in understanding far beyond what you can get in textbooks. It was for a brief moment a little scary. Most of the afternoon was spent quietly reading with the book, running downstairs for the occasional snack totally forgetting he could use a summoning charm now. The "being" in the house didn't bother them the rest of the afternoon, which was good news because there were like twenty different candidates that seemed to be the cause of what was happening at the house. From super powerful boggarts to even wraiths and specters, Remus and Sirius couldn't exactly narrow down their search criteria that night. Before they all retired after dinner Sirius warned not to take the unknown being too harshly and that to go ahead and try some spells if it bothered them to much. As they went to bed Sirius then cupped Harry's cheek in his hand and spoke.

    _             "Good night Harry, if there's anything you want to talk about just say the word." _

                  "I'm fine. I just hope that...whatever that thing is... lets me sleep tonight." Harry then pecked Sirius on the cheek and flashed a warm smile before going upstairs. Sirius now **knew Harry was hiding something. The more Harry reassured him the more he knew Harry was hurting. After two years of letters he knew that part of Harry's personality well. When they were in bed that night Sirius let Remus know about his suspicions.**

                   "Well it's an ugly, shameful part of himself he doesn't want people to know about." Remus said thoughfully. Sirius was curled up on Remus' chest and was listening to the wolf's heartbeat. "I know what that feels like to have something disgusting about you lurking inside." Remus remembered how, initially, he didn't want his friends to know about the lycanthropy because he thought they'd be scared and reject him, but instead they went out of their way to accommodate him changing into animals for him, Sirius especially changing into another canine for his sake. Remus always wondered what it would be like if his friends were normal people and would have tried to destroy him. 

                     "We worked through it. We helped you, stood by you, took care of you..."

                     "That doesn't make the pain easier to deal with. I was so disgusted with myself I almost dropped out of Hogwarts. On that day I was outed as the wolf I was terrified you all would abandon..." Sirius immediately put his mouth over Remus'. At first there was shock, but Remus eased up fast. It was like he was dehydrated and was thirsting after the taste of Sirius' mouth because he simply wouldn't pull away. Sirius delicately explored every part of Remus' mouth and was driving all of his feelings and energy into him. When they pulled back Remus' breathing was ragged and Sirius then turned to him.

                      "I'll burn in hell first before you and Harry are alone again." Sirius whispered. _Like that stopped the tragedy of Godric's Hollow. Remus thought bitterly. He noticed Sirius' eyes become distant and felt that he was thinking the same thing.  _

                      "I think we have to learn to trust each other...not just reveling in raw happiness and idle times." Remus laced his fingers with Sirius' "Voldemort twisted our feelings and made us hurt each other. In the end only Lily believed in all of us. We'll get through this. You're going to have to learn about Harry over the coming days and he's going to learn about you." Remus said with great gentleness. 

                       "Okay, I know what I'll do." Sirius said quietly. In Harry's bedroom, Harry shifted in his covers and was starting to hear voices...he sat up and felt the presence of the unknown being again. He reached for his wand. The voices then took a familiar tone.

                          "Don't touch me Black!" It was Remus. "I hate you. You murdered our family and tried to kill Harry!" There were no illusions this time just the voices. He then heard Sirius.

                           "I knew it, you believe them. Dumbledore believes them too. Forget it, I'm leaving."

                            "Say it's not true...please." Remus' voice was desperate

                            "It's not true."

                            "Fuck you, Black!"

                            "Goodbye, Remus"

                            "How the hell I'm supposed to keep going on? YOU DESTROYED EVERYTHING GOOD IN MY LIFE!!"

                              _"Riddikulus!"__ Harry chanted into the darkness. He prayed that both men would appear in bunny rabbit costumes. But something strange occurred...A sickly white light bled through the darkness in the room. It formed itself into a human...shape. A human shaped, faceless entity of off-white energy was hovering over Harry. Hearing the commotion the **real Sirius and Remus busted in and saw the still unknown entity. After a few minutes it just vanished. Remus and Sirius just stared at Harry.**_

                               "I've got five galleons down that it's **not a boggart." Harry said weakly.**

                                "Search just narrowed." was Sirius' reply. Thursday went by fast. Harry and Remus were transfiguring leaves and twigs into decent furniture to accommodate the Weasleys and to fill out the house. It was very decent, good quality oak. They transfigured a dining room table, chairs and a bookcase. Sirius was busy searching the identity of the being they saw last night. He narrowed the search to spectral beings, thoughtforms, and astral entities. He seriously hoped it wasn't a being from the astral plane because it was said those kinds of beings were indestructible. No one talked about the voices Harry heard last night, so much for opening up about their feelings. During lunch, which was grilled cheese sandwiches, a very hyper owl sped through the open kitchen window. It's seemed to want to peck Harry to death...it was Ron's owl Pig. It finally let up and dropped off a letter and took off.

                               "I never thought that owl would have a personality disorder." Sirius quipped lightly.

                               "If you lived with Ron day in and day out you would." Harry grumbled as he read the parchment.

                                  _Harry,_

_                                Heard about your new living arrangement. All the best to you! Me, Ginny, mum and dad will come down and visit you tomorrow evening at __6:30__. We got the car back! Hagrid almost crashed into it while riding his bike. (Sirius just grunted at this) __Hermione also knows and will be  seeing you also. ("Real __sub-rosa all right." Remus grumbled) __Can't__ wait to see what you did with the house since I last visited. Mum DID NOT like what you did about the tournament winnings and wanted them to give it to charity. Dad is pro joke shop and him, mum, Fred and George got into a massive row. We're sort of good now, but mum never looked so defeated before. We're all uneasy with the fact that the Ministry may be untrustworthy, but it's just politics you know. ("Like he would know." Harry said flippantly) __Mum and Dad still don't trust Sirius but I get the feeling it's something other than being falsely accused escaped convict. And what's Clairvoyant mean anyway? You clear-sighted or something? I know you wear glasses so does that mean you have super vision or something. See you tomorrow!_

_                                                                                                                                                                              Ron_

                            "That boy misses things by _that much." Sirius put his thumb and forefinger in the "little" position. _

                            "That's an improvement." Harry chuckled weakly. So the three finished their day out keeping busy, not really saying anything to each other. Friday afternoon came around and Molly, Arthur, Ron and Ginny Weasley left the Burrow in their enchanted Ford, flying, invisible with no objection from Molly. Something was on her mind. Everyone in the car knew it too. 

                            "Well, Molly come out with it." Arthur said as they flew above the clouds. The area around Surrey was still experiencing rain but Arthur knew where to drive.

                            "I don't think Mr. Black should be taking care of Harry. I mean he always stayed with us before why change things." Molly said quietly. 

                            "Mum! Sirius is completely innocent!" Ron protested.

                            "I'm not talking about that! Just because you're innocent doesn't instantly qualify you to take care of someone." Molly words were tight, controlled. Arthur was silent. Molly had often talked to him about adopting Harry outright especially after hearing stories from Ron. "He was completely a hellraiser in school and he just came out of Azkaban with a high probability of returning there. And he even has the nerve of letting that werewolf staying with them too!" 

                            "Professor Lupin is a very good person! We're all going there to help them! Harry couldn't possibly be any happier." Ron insisted. What Ron didn't know was that Molly Weasley was part of the massive letter writing campaign that forced Lupin to resign. It was her duty as a responsible parent not to let a dangerous creature near her family...but Hogwarts wasn't exactly considered safe anymore. That thought didn't sit to well with her either. The rest of the car ride was silent. Meanwhile a visitor was on the doorstep on Privet Drive.  

                           "Hermione!" Harry screamed when he saw her on the front door in a smart trench coat. She looked different. Her hair was long and straight not bushy at all. It was a small change but very noticeable. After drying off and hanging up the coat Hermione noticed the house.

                           "It's really charming Harry!" she squealed at the not-so-bare-anymore house. The wooden furniture made it very inviting. The smell of tea on the magickially charged stovetop made it more inviting. 

                           "Hey girl, long time no see!" Sirius said as he came from the basement. He had buttoned down long-sleeved white shirt and his camouflaged pants on. Hermione started to blush deeply noticing how _clean Sirius looked. Harry beamed with no small pride. He helped craft this fine looking man of the house. _

                           "Did Harry get qualifications for being a clairvoyant?" She said not breaking her gaze. 

                           "Let's bring our Hermione up to speed shall we?" Sirius said as he motioned to the living room. 

                           "Yes, lets." Harry grinned stupidly. Meanwhile Remus was upstairs in the study on research duty. The last encounter was personal. Harry learned about the last time he and Sirius were together before Azkaban. He was desperately hoping that nothing would happen when they had company. He read through the books they had. Fighting this entity would be a hell of a lot easier once they established what is was...then it happened again.

                           "STUPID FREAK! WHY DADDY HAS TO KEEP YOU IS BEYOND ME!!" It was a child's voice but it was quite harsh. It was only the voice though, nothing else. Then Sirius spoke up.

                          "Remmie, you okay up there?" He asked. 

                          "Yes! Is Miss Granger there?"

                          "Yeah, I'm here Mr. Lupin." She spoke up.

                          "Does she know of our predicament?

                          "Yes!" All three yelled.

                         "Then by all means send her up before the others get here!" Remus said as Harry guided her to the study. Hermione giggled at the sight of the study. Harry probably figured that Hermione had a massive study, but in truth she admired its coziness. She and Remus immediately went to work to identify the intruder. Remus had already written a case history of the creature. Hermione had read through the notes and everything. Harry went downstairs to tend to the tea when Hermione spoke. 

                          "So you think its Harry?" she said quietly.

                          "All the signs point to him." Remus said in the same quiet voice.

                          "I propose it's a thoughtform, a being of pure energy and thought." 

                          "Yes, but it could be feeding off all of us, not to mention there are many different classes of thoughtforms" Suddenly he heard Sirius again. 

                          "Hey you guys get downstairs, they're here!" So Hermione and Remus went downstairs and Harry bolted out of the kitchen. He was so happy. He never reckoned that anything bad would happen. So naturally when he opened the door he never thought he would see a great black basilisk on the front door. Lots of screaming ensued and a slammed door followed. The door reopened to a flushed Arthur and Molly Weasley and a Ron and Ginny Weasley in the bushes. It turns out they saw the same basilisk in the front door. So there was an immediate conference in the dining room. The _fully furnished dining room with table and chairs. _

                           "A haunted house?" Ron said with a slight shiver. 

                           "Maybe, except our so called ghost was created." Remus said knowing it has something to do with Harry. 

                          "Who would **create a ghost like that?" Molly said slightly sternly.**

                "It could very well be an accident dear." Arthur said then he turned to Hermione. "You said it was a thoughtform?"

                          "Yes, but I don't know what kind of being would shape into fears that isn't a boggart."

                           "Maybe it's not fears. Maybe it just, you know, reacts strongest to..." Sirius began before....

                           "YOU SHITTY BOY! YOU BETTER APPRECIATE EVERYTHING I DO FOR YOU!!" After a moment of stunned silence Harry explained it was Vernon Dursley. Everyone was piecing together things now. Arthur looked quite uncomfortable.

                           "Let's go to the study and get this matter settled." Arthur said shaken. So Harry showed Hermione and Ron his room, while the adults were in the study. The three were talking quietly.

                           "So how do we get rid of a thoughtform?" Harry inquired.

                            "Only the person who created it can get rid of it." Harry knew that this might have something to do with him. The adults came back into the room. Sirius spoke first.

                            "It's an eidolon." He said. Hermione's eyes lit up.

                            "So its only form is the memories from its creator?" She asked. Ron and Harry looked puzzled. Hermione then explained. "An eidolon is a creature made of pure thought and energy. Its almost like a patronus except its form is the feelings, emotions or memories of its creator. Normally its not violent or scary but..." 

                            "It's stuck on our bad memories." Harry just said plainly right before...

                            "HE"S GETTING AWAY!"  They all saw in Harry's window Vernon Dursley trying to restrain Harry from leaving by the enchanted car with Ron, Fred, and George. It was quite a violent scene. Ron remembered this memory well. It was just before second year. Molly was starting to get a very good idea what kind of person Harry had to live with for fourteen years. Just then the scene dissolved. 

                            "Harry, please tell us what you really had to go through...before we met you." Remus asked gently. Silence.

                     "Harry, love, please." Sirius said very quietly. Harry was going to speak up when a very familiar voice spoke...

                            "Harry, take my body back will you? Take my body back to my parents." 

                            Standing in the hallway was Cedric Diggory.


	7. Trust

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 "Full of Grace" belongs to Sarah McLachlan

CHAPTER 7: Trust 

            _If all of the strength and all of the courage come and lift me from this place_

_           I know I can love you much better than this... __Full of Grace_

           _I know I can I love much better than this...it's better this way._

_"Full of Grace" Sarah McLachlan_

It was more than a worst nightmare. Nightmares you could wake up from. Cedric Diggory standing in the hallway at Privet Drive still beautiful and innocent looking never gave the people in the house such a _visceral reaction when he was alive. It was the eidolon in Cedric's face. More than his face, it had his voice and memory. Harry fell off the bed and shrunk into the corner. Harry never felt so powerless. Not since he saw the beloved Hufflepuff die. He was beginning to hyperventilate and the others weren't faring any better. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were stark terrified of the eidolon's latest form. Remus' soul began to hurt. He remembered working with Cedric and guiding him with some advanced magicks. Cedric said he truly enjoyed working with Remus at Hogwarts. It really hurt when Remus learned of his death. Sirius gave Remus the story of the third task when they were in bed to elaborate on the news given to him. Arthur and Molly looked absolutely miserable. And Sirius was ready to end this once and for all. He decided to treat the eidolon like a sentient being. _

            "All right what the hell do you want?" Sirius growled knowing full well it wasn't really Cedric.

            "Why do you ask?" was the eidolon's response. As Cedric he looked impassive.

            "Do you like terrorizing young boys or is this just a fucked up prank to you?" Sirius said with palpable malice in his voice. 

            "Ask him, the scarred one." Cedric just said plainly. Harry started to whimper; he curled up and looked excruciatingly miserable.

            "Well I can't right now so I decided to ask you. You know about him, hell you **are him in a twisted way. Why are you here, why now?" Sirius had a very stern voice.**

            "This form was the trigger. I coalesced inside his soul when he was last with this form. I was created when all of the shades and forms bursted forth." Cedric explained.

            "Priori Incantateum." Remus stated flatly.

            "The scarred one couldn't accept an innocent had died for no reason other than simply being with him. As he carried the body he thought of all the things this form wouldn't be able to experience with him. The scarred one loves too easily and fast." Cedric said with noticeable disgust. "He wanted to keep him. He thought if he forgot about this form he truly would be a worthless person. He closed his heart to everyone and only pretended to get better." Cedric then transformed into Vernon Dursley which Arthur, Ron, Sirius, and Remus recognized. Arthur and Ron from the summer before fourth year, Sirius and Remus simply guessed from that last summer with Lily and James. Hermione remembered him, briefly from the train platform. The eidolon continued. "He hates this form, the one who hurts him. The one who hates him back with pure malice. This form hated the scarred one ever since he was found on the doorstep of this very house, wanted to drown him in the river." Sirius had blistering foul words running in his head and was even starting to plan Vernon's demise as the eidolon kept speaking. "Only the will of the elder kept these two together." 

            "Dumbledore?" asked Arthur.

            "Yes. The scarred one resents the elder for many things, even for keeping him alive sometimes." Vernon said in the same impassive non-judgmental voice Cedric used. Harry now had his eyes shut and hands on his ears. He looked totally devoid of life. Everyone in the room was shocked by this confession. Everyone except Sirius.

            "That makes two of us." Sirius said quietly. Remus heard though. Sirius then spoke louder. "This doesn't answer why you're here and why you won't leave though." Vernon then transformed into Harry at eleven years old with a large bruise on the side of head. Sirius gasped and was going to touch him when his hand went through this version of Harry. The eidolon in Harry's form then gently put both of his hands around Sirius hand. He felt the warm energy of Harry's soul slightly course through him. The eidolon in Harry's guise spoke gently with great feeling to Sirius. "The scarred one lived in misery after the murder. In order to survive he shoved everything away; fears, hopes, dreams, faith, anger, love. All those feelings were put aside and are what created me. When the scarred one felt true happiness once more I was shoved outside the mind." 

            "True happiness...aw, shit." Sirius then realized how this happened. As an emotional response Harry repressed most of his feelings after the triwizarding tournament. Those feelings created the eidolon inside Harry's soul. When Harry had his vision of he and Remus at the cabin Harry's mind and soul filled with pure bliss shoving the eidolon outside his mind and into the house. This was how it got past the protection wards embedded in the house. In order to live it fed off the negative memories of the people living there. Now the question was how to get rid of it.

            "How do we get you to leave this place? Do you even want to leave?" Sirius asked gently. 

            "Yes. I want to rest. With the scarred one's permission I could attempt to leave on my own." Hermione wondered at this statement. An eidolon traditionally could be summoned and dismissed in the same way a patronus could, but this being that looked like Harry seemed to have a will of its own. Only Harry could dismiss it but he was in no condition to perform magic. Everyone looked at Harry.

            "How?" was his only response, desperately wanting to get this day to end. 

            "I can only be dissolved by releasing the shadows in your heart. Since you are wavering I could do it for you. You merely have to watch." "Harry" said to himself. Harry thought it was unnatural and strange that the eidolon looked like him now after changing from Cedric and Vernon. "You tried to banish me with _Riddikulus but as long as the shadows in your heart exist I will still be active. I will still only exist as negative thought."_

            "Sounds painful." Ron said to the eidolon. 

            "No violence would occur since I'm not of flesh." The eidolon replied simply.

            _Releasing the innermost feelings is always a painful process Remus thought._

            "Do it." Harry said bitterly. The eidolon then transformed into an exact replica of Harry in the house at age fourteen while the true Harry braced himself...

            "WHERE WERE YOU PEOPLE WHEN I NEEDED YOU!!" the eidolon roared. As Harry the eidolon had a chilling amount of rage in his voice.

            "W..What do you mean?" Molly said a little startled.

            "Every time I face **him I'm always alone." "Harry" replied coldly. _Him being Voldemort, of course. Sirius flinched._**

            "Harry, it was very hard but you survived him."  Remus replied.

            "I was there for all of you. I loved all of you. YET I WAS STILL ALONE!" The expression on the duplicate Harry was very severe. "I alone have to face him. I alone have to overcome him. Everyone wants me to destroy him. I WANT him destroyed." At this point the true Harry got his invisibility cloak and started to hide in plain sight on the bed. "Look, I can't even stand to be looked at. You know, I should have just disregarded what Hagrid told me about the Slytherin house and just let the hat sort me there." The duplicate Harry flashed a sardonic smile. This was a disquieting revelation. Ron then spoke up.

            "Harry, that's the coward's house! The hat put you in Gryffindor because you're strong enough to face your problems." 

            "It's that bloody nobility that gets me into nearly all my problems! My oh-so-noble heart that made me endure fourteen years of abuse, multiple attempts on my life and letting my parent's traitor run free. If I were from Slytherin stock I would never have put up with such crap from other people. I would have definitely found a way to get my pathetic excuse of an uncle sent to the stocks and pillory and maybe even horse-whipped to boot a **_long time ago." The words from the eidolon's mouth spewed like molten lava and seemed to hurt just as much._**

            "So why didn't you?" said Harry's tiny invisible voice from the bed. "Why don't you hurt other people?" he asked almost afraid to know the truth.

            The eidolon version of Harry had a blistering mirthless smile on his face. Its emerald eyes faded.

            "My life belongs to someone else." It said. This made the real Harry uncloak, reappearing on the bed.

            "Who?" asked Sirius even though he had a very good idea who it was.

            "Mother." It spat out. The real Harry still looked quite pale although he had a glimmer of understanding. "Everything I do is for her sake. Everything I do is to fulfill the hopes she invested into me when she sacrificed her life for my sake." The rage in its voice was gone. "That precious gift...it's blasphemy against magic itself to live my life in any manner less than what would make her happy."  The eidolon Harry had a very pained expression on his face. Sirius then sat down on the bed beside the real Harry. All this was making everyone in the small bedroom uncomfortable. It felt like a session of voyeurism starring Harry Potter. Sirius spoke in a soothing and very intimate voice in the true Harry's ear as he sat down on the bed beside him.

            "Harry, poppet, your mother gave her life for you so you could have a world of your own, a future to be lived." Sirius was gently stroking the back of the head of the true Harry's head. 

            "Her gift backfired." The true Harry spoke in the same intimate tone. "She and Dumbledore wanted me to have a normal life. Instead I might forever be connected to Voldemort instead of separated. Dumbledore dumped me with the Dursleys so I could have a normal life away from the Boy Who Lived, I see that now. But I'm NOT normal. Not with muggles, not with wizards, not even among..." The true Harry stopped as the words were choking in his throat.

            "Harry, love just let it go." Sirius said almost breaking with heartache. The eidolon sat down on the other side of Sirius on the bed.

            "Not even among the people that care the most about me."  It said plainly. At this point the true Harry started to form tears and Sirius pulled him into an embrace. The true Harry head was cradled on Sirius lap. The eidolon then spoke telepathically to Sirius so no else could hear. It was Harry's true feelings.

_The Weasleys want me in their pack, Ron resents my status. I'm never been more loved around them yet I feel so utterly—_

_                                                                                                                                    "Apart"_

_I feel like a piece that doesn't fit in their world._

_                                                                                                I started to feel this way about you poppet...  _

_I love you desperately, how could you?_

_                                                                                                                        You only met me a short time ago._

_                                                                         I feel like it's just the connection to James that keeps you near..._

_I love you because of you, because you're strong and funny and I NEED YOU. _

_                                                                                                                 Dumbledore asks too much of you..._

_I love you because I can actually rest around you_

_                                                                                                           Our freakin' WORLD asks too much of you..._

_                                                            "And I want to get better for you."_

            Both Harry and the eidolon spoke this out loud in unison. This made everyone including Sirius jump. Everyone else had a half of a minute of complete silence while the conversation inside of Sirius' head. More silence followed since Sirius responded back. The true Harry followed this conversation too. His thoughts and feelings were slowly separating from the eidolon.

                                                                                                                                    _Get better?_

_Something's wrong with me. If so many people hate me. Pure hatred._

_                                                                                                            No, Harry it's just..._

_We're broken._

_                                                                                                                         Maybe                                                            _

_You just got out of prison, you were alone and tortured for so many years._

_I was shoved around by my uncle..._

_                                                                                                                        Should have been there..._

_You're here **now.**_

_                                                            **IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR ME TO GO.**_

                                                                                                                         _Back into Harry's mind?___

_                                                                                      **YES.**_

****

_Snuffles..._

_                                                                                                                          Yes, Harry. _

                                                                _You make me feel normal._

_            This last statement in Sirius' mind was stated in unison by both Harry and the eidolon. The eidolon stood up and then gave Sirius a warm smile and in a bright flash of warm white light vanished. However as he faded he gave Sirius one last message._

                                                                    **_SAVE US, PLEASE_**

            Desperate feelings and raw emotion was what crafted the creature. It returned back to the recesses of Harry's mind. Sirius just cradled Harry in his arms in his lap. No life or death struggle defeated the creature that was merely an aspect of Harry's personality. It took on many forms, bad memories and negative emotions but it took only Sirius' concern to reach Harry. Only Sirius Black could have such nerve to reason with the creature instead of merely fearing it especially when it looked like Cedric. Overcoming a shapeshifting apparition, chalk another successful adventure for the home team. The emerald eyes were releasing a cascade of bitter tears on Sirius lap. 

            "We should go home now." Molly said quietly. "You can stay with us if you like Hermione, dear." 

            "Thank you." She said. Like after the murder of Cedric, Harry's loved ones were totally at a loss on how to handle him, save Sirius. One good thought emerged to Arthur as Remus directed everyone out of the room. _He doesn't have to pretend to be a dog this time. The house was in a dead calm as they left the shattered Boy Who Lived with his godfather. _

            They remarkably only visited for an hour and half. The guests got their coats and items and quietly filed out.

            "Tell us when he recovers." Arthur told Remus. He simply nodded. After the guests left, the house was now deathly still. The sound of rain outside was comforting. Remus noticed the teapot on the stove. He got it off the stove and noticed it was pretty much evaporated. Not unlike his feelings at the moment. His increased senses heard the rain outside very well. He heard the faucet in the bathroom dripping. And Harry's painful crying. They never did get to address what to do about the full moon, the original reason for the meeting. Remus just figured he'd request some Wolfsbane from Severus Snape. Remus sat down on the couch deciding to let Sirius take care of Harry, to heal him, just like he healed him when his dark secret was laid bare.

            Twenty minutes passed. Harry was still crying.

            _As long as you can still trust, and still love, Harry, you can heal. It will hurt like silver though. Remus thought as he started to read a book._

            Sirius stayed with Harry all night.


	8. Something For Breakfast

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimers: See Chapter 1 (I Don't Own The Characters)

Author's Note: Many thanks to the Goddess of Insanity, and the Dark One Shadowphyre

CHAPTER 8: Something For Breakfast

            With the eidolon subdued and Harry's pain released a new day broke over Little Whinging. Harry spent the entire night buried inside of his godfather's embrace in his room. When the tears subsided, Sirius simply talked to Harry about various things including how it was NOT okay just to let someone abuse you for a long amount of time. It was really dangerous when it was accepted as the normal order of things. At around midnight both just fell asleep on the bed. Harry's feelings were raw and hard, making him numb all over. He really hated it when people seemed overly concerned about him. Of course he hated it when people didn't care about him either. _Vernon Dursley, thank you for screwing with my head. Harry thought as he got up the next morning. Sirius bolted awake, a reflex from Azkaban._

            "Gonna make us breakfast." Harry said with a little yawn. Sirius was pretty bleary eyed himself. As he scratched behind his neck and stretched he noticed the shabby condition of Harry's room. It was just a bed with some sheets and a tattered comforter. The room had a mental institution quality to it that disturbed Sirius. No posters of muggle actors or rock stars, no quidditch paraphernalia, no color, no _life. "Eggs and toast with soda, quite tasty." Harry added as he simply walked to the bathroom to wash up for the morning. Sirius went over to the window and opened it up, smelling the light mist of rain fill the room. The off-white overcast morning did not help the atmosphere of the room even if the rain did smell nice. Once again he slept in his clothes like he did twenty million other times. He heard Harry shuffle down the stairs and then heard soft footsteps in the hall, Remus entered the room. _

            "How do you feel?" Remus asked as he walked very close behind Sirius.

            "Have no fucking clue." Sirius always cursed when he was either tired or like last night in "attack mode". Remus knew this.

            "How is he?" 

            "Quite possibly shut down."

            "Like after the murder?"

_            "No, he's like me. Totally spent, has nothing more to give." Remus was puzzled for two seconds then remembered. Azkaban. Sirius has to deal with his own traumatic recovery from that place...and he was all alone before he found Remus again. _

            "What's next?"

            "We ask the gods for better days."

            "I've been there, mate." Remus then wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist while Sirius was still looking out the window. "He's yours now. The papers say Harold Potter-Black, even if they don't take effect until you're cleared." Remus knew Sirius was flying blind when dealing with Harry, but even if the notorious Padfoot was a trickster delinquent and now an escaped-con, Sirius was capable of great tenderness and sincerity. At least he did a long, long time ago.

            "The Blacks...shit Moony. James and Lily would surely be grieving for Harry right now..."

            "You underestimate yourself. You subdued the eidolon, and made Harry open up to us. And James entrusted Harry's life to you, last night I saw why." 

            "It's the wolf that prevented you from having custody of Harry right?" Sirius said as he grasped Remus' worn but slender hand.

            "Yes." Was the only response.

            "He's just as much yours now too, so I think we all could be the Blacks." _There's a scary thought. Sirius said and thought as his heart slightly skipped when he realized what he just implied. They both stared at the overcast sky. Remus gently gathered Sirius' hair with his free hand. _

            _I'm glad you're mine Sirius, mate. I'll help to redeem both you and Harry from the sins of our past. All the strength of this old wolf belongs to you both. Remus thought lovingly. This was a resolution to a new life and future._

            "Maybe you should go check on Harry." Sirius knew Harry was probably on 'automatic' again. Sirius thought it would be a good idea not to leave Harry alone with his thoughts. "Try not to push..."

            "I know...I'll be there without being overbearing." Remus then took Sirius' hair through his fingers and inhaled its scent deeply. The werewolf could sense the tension and weariness in his mate's body. "Are you going to be okay?" he whispered gently.

            "Protecting a loved one gives one strength, it's primal. I never want Harry to be that hurt again and I simply can't imagine life without him now." Remus knew the unspoken version of this statement though. _Oh, Padfoot, you wanted to say protecting your **son **__gives you strength. Remus let go and went downstairs leaving Sirius in the rain kissed bedroom. In the kitchen, Harry had a skillet on the stove and the eggs out. The bread was out but there was no toaster so there couldn't be toast. Harry felt very melancholy and was simply going through the motions of life without feeling. His true self yelled at his friends, people who took care of him and all he could do was bark at them about his inability to stand up for himself. He broke the shell of the egg. Remus entered the kitchen._

            "Harry."

            "Yeah, Remus?" Harry said flatly.

            "When you make scrambled eggs, it's best to put the yolks in the bowl."

            "I'm making them sunny-side up."

            "In the sink?" Harry looked down and noticed the egg yolk was emptied into the sink. Harry's face flushed with embarrassment as he threw the eggshells away.

"Here, I'll make us all something, just sit down." Harry washed his hands and sat down in the living room. Remus cleaned up the yolks in the sink and made a fresh breakfast for three consisting of hotcakes and French toast with powdered sugar. He dished them out and set the plates on the table before walking out into the living room. He hadn't expected to find Harry on the couch curled into a fetal position around a pillow, but he did. It wasn't that Harry was crying or anything, it's that he just laid there, nearly unmoving. Remus sat on the couch by Harry's feet and started to talk. It was meaningless at first, just a recantation of his first attempts at cooking, but it was enough to somewhat cheer Harry up.

            "You know, we should get a muggle television. It's better than staring at a blank wall."

            "I wouldn't know what to watch. I wasn't really allowed in front of our old telly. I just watched a little 'Keeping Up Appearances' now and then when I was little."

            "Ah yes, Patricia Routledge always made me laugh. I think I was the show's biggest fan." This made Harry smile but then realized that the show ran in the early 90's right when Remus was alone. This led Harry to his next question.

            "How did you handle Sirius, your best friend and loved one, being in prison with you alone without mum and dad?" Harry phrased this very delicately with the utmost respect for Remus' feelings and Remus knew this. The question was meant as way of asking how to heal and move on from such blunt emotional trauma that was like last night. Remus answered to his best ability as way to guide Harry. 

"At first, I didn't handle it well at all. Werewolves are not solitary creatures by choice. Even though we are human, we also have the needs of the wolf, and the wolf side craves a pack, a family. During my years at Hogwarts, my pack was created. It was not the usual pack of just werewolves, but a pack of friends who would do anything for one another. The pack went on to be remembered as the Marauders. But, you already know this. After Hogwarts, we stayed in close contact and they always made sure that least one of them was there for me during the full moon. It wasn't the same because in Hogwarts, I did not have to face the prejudice that I did in the real world, but I still had my pack to call on. Then, the pack was enlarged with first Lily and then you joining it. As the son of a pack member, you are automatically a part of my pack and as such it is my responsibility to protect you. In one day, that all changed. My whole pack, my entire support structure disappeared. I believed that one member of my pack caused the deaths of three other members and orphaned the last member of my pack. I think, in all honesty, I could have handled it better," the werewolf confessed, training his eyes on the floor.  It was scratched and scuffed and scarred from the years of abuse it had endured while the Dursleys were there.  _Much as Harry is scarred Remus realized "I ranted for awhile. Screamed. Threw things. Cried."  He looked over at Harry as he added, "I think I even lost myself for awhile. The wolf in a more... manageable way, I suppose." Remus' story was interrupted by Harry's growling stomach. _

"I must be hungrier than I thought." Harry said with a sad smile. Remus returned it with another melancholic smile.

"You should eat, so you can get stronger. It's not good to be malnourished for long." Harry's face turned red again. "Yes, I'm sure they did that to you too." Remus pulled Harry up and they walked into the dining room and sat down. Sirius bounded down the stairs in the same white shirt but just in his boxers this time. He was wet from the quick shower he took and was twirling Harry's wand. He put it on the coffee table then bounced over to the dining room. 

"Whoa, Remus taught you how to make his sweet stacker breakfast!" Sirius pulled up a chair.

"No, I made it for us. Why are you like that?" Remus said with his face blushing slightly. 

            "It's my home too now! Besides, you've seen me more naked than this." Sirius caught himself too late as Harry had a questioning look.

            "Showers. Hogwarts. Quidditch." Sirius grunted quickly.

            "Oh, you were on the team Remus?" Harry asked as he started to pour the milk from the glass pitcher.

            "Nah, he just showered with us." Sirius said without thinking. Another strange look. "The Marauders did everything together. We didn't want to leave Moony alone." Sirius then blushed red under Remus' calm but stern gaze mentally kicking himself for giving such a lame excuse. 

            "You poor man, being a werewolf must really take a lot out of you." Harry's eyes were filled a slight sadness. After hearing about his past Harry mentally commended Remus Lupin for not going absolutely insane for the past thirty, thirty-four odd years. 

            "I am dealing with it fine." Remus said slightly irritated at Sirius. If Harry didn't think he was wreck before, this just sealed it. Of course they were _involved and that's why Remus saw him naked. In their little flat they lived in post-graduation Hogwarts, Sirius was always running around naked. As they devoured their breakfast Remus couldn't decide if that was because of Sirius' sheer lust or if he was too damn lazy. The three ate breakfast in peace._

Meanwhile at the Burrow breakfast was a dead silent affair. It wasn't that the Weasleys and Hermione didn't get along it's just this nagging "Where Do We Go From Here?" feeling pervaded the place. Even Fred and George were quiet. It was more of a guilt feeling. Here they are the happy family loved and stable while someone they cared for was nearly left to rot. Arthur was uneasy with this level of silence. It was if Harry was silently damning them for living a happy life. Hermione too felt bad and was grateful to her wonderful parents. Ron was stewing with himself for not pushing Harry to say how he really felt. After a breakfast of egg sandwiches an owl post arrived. Everyone, except Percy tackled the bird to find out if it was from Harry or not, where everyone else was in a dead pile on the floor, Percy took the letter.

            "It's for me. Don't expect to hear from _him until at least next week." He sighed as he went upstairs. Molly, the twins and Ron all got up from the floor as Arthur paid for the public owl post. _

            "I guess he's right." Molly sighed as she helped Ginny up off the floor. "It's not like Harry will just get better the next day."

            "Think he's mad at us?" said Ginny quietly. 

            "Well his inner feelings had a lot to rant about, but I think that was only one side of the story." Molly said _"And I want to get better for you." This statement unnerved this mother of seven. Did Harry really think he was a disgusting person? Why **was he left with those awful people? Hermoine and Ron went into the living room to do some of their homework. Ginny and Molly did the dishes while Fred and George excused themselves to go into the village. Arthur spoke up. **_

"I could drop you boys off when I go to work, so get washed up." Arthur said as he went to his room.

"Thanks." They said in unison. If it was possible in this life to be miserable for feeling happiness and joy the people of the Burrow were doing just that. Arthur Weasley wanted to change that, and to simply let Harry know that he was loved. In his and Molly's room while no one was looking he wrote a letter and gave it to Errol. It was sent to Remus.

   _Greetings,_

_I wish to discuss Harry's well being privately with you next week over tea or something. Unlike my wife who has serious reservations about Harry's "arrangement" I believe you and Mr. Black are trustworthy people who Harry fiercely loves. I also wish to inform you that Molly was seriously looking into adopting Harry as our own. Although it would have made me very happy to do this since Ron and Harry are like brothers, I also sensed a strange dissonance between Harry and the rest of my family. He was very happy being here but he couldn't totally let go of the shadows of his heart like the eidolon said. Molly and Ron reacted with sincerity and love but as a father I could tell Harry feelings might have stemmed from the fact Harry wants a home of his own, not gleaning off the compassion and light of other people's houses. It is my belief that Harry will only overcome his enemies by unleashing the light of his heart rather than conquering them with curses. When I am with Ron and all my children I silently pray to the Lord and Lady that our world won't destroy the innocence and happiness in their lives. I hereby extend my humblest apologies for leaving Harry alone with the Dursleys with no one turn to and ask for his and your forgiveness. They are horrible people but I think this comes from fear of the magicks. So meet me at the Leaky Cauldron, Wednesday afternoon or write back so we can set up a more convenient time and place _

_                                                                                                                                                Sincerely,_

_                                                                                                                                    Arthur Weasley_

_Harry please believe in me, in all of us here. Arthur thought as he walked downstairs to his happy and safe family. At Privet Drive an interesting conversation was taking place. _

"Black's Den is more appropriate than Potter's Den because you're the eldest, Snuff." Harry said as he put the milk away in the refrigerator. He and Remus were putting the breakfast dishes away while Sirius was kicking back on the couch, stomach full. 

"Yeah, but we all came together for you. I think this house should reflect that." Sirius replied. "Or we can call it the Den of Wolves." 

"No, as much as I am flattered." Remus replied as he wiped the table down. They couldn't let on that a werewolf was in the house...or Sirius Black for that matter.

"Marauder's Stronghold, because that's what we still are even if we lost people." Harry declared. There was a silence then Remus spoke

"I accept."

"I accept too. 4 Privet Drive will be Marauder's Stronghold...or Marauder's Hold." Sirius said quietly. It hurt a little but Harry was right, they still were a pack even with the separation and the losses. Harry put the dishes in the sink; he got the idea for the name after hearing that Remus would protect him too, so he just accepted him as family. Harry wondered if Remus was hurting over the fact that the pack all came together for his sake. Harry put the sticky, sugary plates in the sink and hoped that he would never be the cause of Sirius and Remus pain; after all they came here for **_his sake, like he was somebody important. As Harry grabbed another plate a shining, peaceful vision overcame Harry's sight._**

_// An elegant café, bathed in midmorning light._

_White linen napkins, wineglasses of sparkling apple cider, Belgian Waffles on Wedgwood china._

_Intimate atmosphere, immaculate surroundings, tables with white lilies in the vase._

_Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy sharing a table by the ornate windows.__ Also bathed in light. _

_Both enjoying the company of each other, Draco's silver eyes filled with true happiness.___

_The happiness that comes from being with someone you love and trust. Draco says something to Snape._

_Severus Snape gave Draco a small, but genuine laugh.__ //_

Harry snapped back into the present reality. Watching Snape, someone he loathed laugh was jarring. Seeing both of them was_ harsh. They looked so happy, like the way Harry was with his family was now. Why did he get this vision? Is he going to see both his rival and least favorite teacher soon? Draco was like acid a mere week ago. Professor Snape was threatening him with Veritaserum too. The sheer happiness of his vision was disturbing. Draco looking happy, noble and pleasant with the sunlight shining through his platinum hair was...__beautiful. Draco as a kind, beautiful human being was very disturbing to Harry. He hated Harry, so much so that Harry was starting to think Draco was only capable of hatred. He also didn't think Snape was capable of kindness or warmth even though he saved him on occasion. He put the dishes away and was lost in thought. Remus and Sirius didn't know he had experienced a vision and thought he was still depressed. The depression was still there but it was small. It gave way to total confusion. Harry went upstairs and laid down, staring at the ceiling._

Those two weren't so bad in that moment. Harry wished he was there in that moment too. Hold it, he was.

_Draco, we could have been happy together. I'm sure of it. Why were you so arrogant at the robe shop? If you were as gentle as I just saw you..._

Harry then cursed silently. If he was that kind at Madame Malkin's and on the train 4 years ago...

Harry would never have rejected his offer to be at his side._                 ___


	9. Enemies Closer

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 

WARNING~~THIS IS A SLASH FICTION (YOU WERE WARNED!!)

Author Notes: Pairings will be Sirius/Remus and Harry/Draco...but the majority of the story will still focus on Harry and Sirius.

CHAPTER 9: Enemies Closer

 Life at 4 Privet Drive, the new Marauder's Hold settled into a comfortable routine over the next few days. Harry, still baffled at his vision of Draco and Severus' breakfast a few days ago, devoted one portion of his time to his homework from Hogwart's and the other portion to bringing Sirius up to speed on muggle pop-culture.

            "So you're saying the first Star Wars was the fourth and the first came out with the second one recently?

            "Yeah, but some people pretend the first one doesn't exist. I don't think that's fair cause I liked Darth Maul. I would have shelled out the pounds to see just him." Harry said with a huff, remembering the special that aired on television because he never stepped one foot inside a theatre.

            "What do you think were the finest groups of the eighties?"  

            "U2 and The Police, no question. We'll have to get you a CD player."

            "Okay, what kind of device is a CD player?"

            "Like a record player except it plays the music using light instead of a needle. Dudley had five of them. I'd take a listen when he wasn't there." Harry and Sirius were having their discussion in the living room, while Remus was in the study writing letters, a reply to Arthur Weasley and the subscription department of the Daily Prophet. The Monday afternoon sun poured into the sheer curtains of the living room. Harry was glad that the rain had finally moved out and the sun was making a reappearance. Harry knew that Dumbledore could call upon either Sirius or Remus anytime to go on a mission for the Order so Harry was making the most of his time with both of them. Everything was normal as long Harry didn't think of Cedric Diggory and of the high risk missions Sirius would have to take soon. Sirius noticed Harry's red and black Rugby shirt was way bigger than it should be, so loose around the shoulders it looked like it was coming off.

            "Oversized clothing the rage now?" Sirius asked knowing it was a sign of Harry's shabby treatment. 

            "No, the Dursleys were just cheap. Every piece of clothing once belonged to that fat cow Dudley." Harry gasped surprised how bitter that came out. He tried his best not to be the next Tom Riddle, but every so often...

            "Don't be afraid of being angry. God knows I'm angry at...my life such as it is." Sirius wanted to say so many things he raged about. Left to rot in Azkaban, losing James and Lily, Peter's betrayal. "The important thing is to move forward and focus on the here and now, despite your longing to see tomorrow today." Sirius paused then said "Padfoot's rede: Live your life everyday like it was your last one on earth, learn it." Despite the horrors of the hell that was prison that were driven into him Sirius lived his advice before the imprisonment. That carefree spirit was totally destroyed now, but in its place that the man in the white tank top and blue jeans had was a newfound hope for the future...one that _might not end in bloodshed and tears. _

            "You give good counsel." Harry said. All that a rede was simply counsel or advice given. 

            "Apparently you're the only person who thinks so." Sirius said with a snort. Remus came downstairs

            "His advice always ends with liquor, rock and roll, or setting things on fire." Remus joked. _And sex, mustn't forget about that. "Having seen your clothing and room furnishings I thought we could see about changing things with a shopping trip in London, Wednesday provided we get all of our work done today and tomorrow." He then paused. Both Sirius and Harry looked curious. __I suppose I should tell them. Remus thought "As you know the full moon is coming next week, so in preparation...I've asked Professor Snape to bring over some Wolfsbane potion soon as it must be taken a week before the moon. We can't have Moony and Padfoot running around the streets you know."_

            "Yes, that's a good idea." Harry said evenly. Sirius simply nodded giving a blank expression. He'd swallow his disgust if only so Remus could get his medicine. This was one of the scenarios that Sirius had in mind for Moony's full moon condition. Harry was nervous, after seeing Professor Snape in a new light, a _positive light; he wasn't sure how to act in front of him. Remus wasn't at all thrilled with Severus and Sirius in the same room together. Hopefully Severus could forgive him again and try to move on. The massive debacle of the Shrieking Shack really set Severus into poison mode, which saddened Remus especially since he knew the true Severus Snape was a good man._

He should know, since he secretly knew the potions master has been longing for him since they were attending Hogwarts, Whomping Willow and Shrieking Shack notwithstanding. Remus honestly cared about Severus too despite his poisonous disposition.   

_Sirius would be incredibly disgusted with me.  Remus thought as he sent Hedwig out with the letters. Monday and Tuesday skipped by and Wednesday arrived. Sirius had one task to do for The Order and that was locating Arabella Figg a senior member and a very strong witch. Remus and Harry were going to meet Hermione in London then go on a shopping spree which included buying a television and DVD player in addition to bedroom furnishings and new clothes. Remus also had his meeting with Arthur Weasley to look forward to. In order to kill two birds with one stone he had Arthur meet him at a muggle occult bookstore/Starbucks combo so Harry and Hermione could have some free time to themselves while the two could still look after them and talk._

"Good luck on the mission." Harry said to Sirius as Harry stood by the fireplace with Remus getting ready for their trip. Harry had on a blue-gray shirt on with khaki pants. The long sleeved shirt was very oversized. Sirius noticed this and before they left and stood next to Harry and borrowed his wand. Sirius passed the wand over Harry's clothes like a metal detector.

_"Reducio Vestitus" Sirius chanted and the very loose clothing shrank to size. Harry took his wand back. _

"Thanks." He said warmly. Sirius brushed Harry's clothes.

"Don't mention it, can't have my poppet running around like a gutter tramp anymore." Sirius said quietly. Remus smiled at the warm scene.

"We'll be back for dinner. Watch yourself." Remus added this last part emphatically. Even though this mission would be simple there was no room for carelessness.

"Same to you guys. Just cause it's quiet doesn't mean it's safe." Sirius replied. Remus and Harry both nodded and Remus turned to the fireplace.

_"Incendio!" Harry chanted as Remus sprinkled the floo powder in the now lit fireplace. _

Meanwhile in an old dusty mansion somewhere in the United Kingdom, a frail demon lord was having a dream...

_// __Harry Potter in Muggle London escorted by a werewolf._

_Meeting with a disgusting mudblood. Shopping for pitiful rags._

_Walking among the crowds with the **cattle that are muggle born. //**_

The Dark Lord, Voldemort woke from his sleep. His bedroom was bare except for the massive four poster bed covered in black silk. The first thing he saw was Pettigrew on his knees on the ground. Voldemort snorted. He wanted to perform a Cruciatus just seeing his pathetic face trembling. Since he always gave into his impulses, he did. Pettigrew rolling on the floor screaming gave Voldemort no satisfaction whatsoever. It was pointless to break the weak minded. His absolute favorite pet Death Eater was naturally the godlike Lucius Malfoy, nobody else coming close. Not even the prodigal, Severus. 

"Up. Now." Voldemort seethed. Peter complied even though he hadn't fully recovered from the curse. He looked up to see a naked corpse like figure draped in black silk sheets. The bed itself was reminiscent of a coffin. "I'm going to call for _him." He growled. _

"Y...y..yes m'lord." Peter said as he left the room like a bat out of hell. When he exited the bedroom and went into the hallways of the dimly lit mansion many unpleasant thoughts came into the one-handed wizard. _It's always **him. ****I **__revived him, gave him my hand, would give him my life...and all he wants is damn Malfoy. Peter made his way to the library and waited there. Voldemort was going to summon Lucius Malfoy personally. Across time and space Voldemort made his influence known to Lucius. A moment later Lucius Malfoy apparated into the nearly pitch black bedroom. He immediately fell on his knee._

"Yes my lord. What do you desire?" Lucius mind was an iron wall that the Dark Lord could not penetrate, although he penetrated other parts of this pureblooded aristocrat. Voldemort trusted no one, especially Lucius. Breaking Lucius Malfoy and Harry Potter were very high priorities on Voldemort's list, whereas whelps like Pettigrew and Snape would be thrown aside into the green flame once their usefulness wore out. Not to mention the fact that Pettigrew and Snape were disgusting to look at. 

_Once I kill Potter and control this world I'll see about creating a whole race of men like Lucifer here. "It seems the connection to Potter works both ways now. That wretch's dismal powers increased somehow. That child! He couldn't even advance properly. He's now prone to delusions instead of throwing fire or telekinesis." Lucius' head was bowed down with the silken platinum hair draped on his shoulders, cold gray eyes cast to the floor. He knew the routine by heart now. An entire hour ranting about Potter, a few plans would be hatched and then some...entertainment. Same as the in first War, except the Potter in question that time was James. The ranting lasted for an hour and a half this time. "I'll have Peter deal with that werewolf that guards Potter now, a pity since Dark Creatures are so lovely, especially when they succumb to the bloodlust, I'm sure you can relate."_

"I have you to thank for that, my liege." Lucius replied with a voice rich and as smooth as red wine. Despite his words he could feel the Dark Lord trying to enter his mind. He kept it blank. After ten minutes of silence he heard an iron hissing come from Voldemort's lips after the failed attempt. Another three minutes of silence transpired as a prelude to what Lucius knew was going to come.

"Lucifer."

"Yes, master."

"Come closer to me."

Meanwhile in London, Harry got a cold chill while going into a trendy young people's clothing store with Remus and Hermione. She agreed to be his personal clothing assistant for the day before they raided the home stores and the bookstore. His forehead broke out in a cold sweat, but the scar didn't hurt. Harry's personal instinct was sounding an alarm though.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Hermione asked as they made their way through the racks.

"I think someone is watching us." Harry said as he started to search around to see if someone is spying on them. Hermione then directed Harry's attention to the security cameras in the store. Harry just nodded in silent agreement.

"Your powers must make you sensitive to things unseen. How's life in the Dead Zone been treating you?" she said as they started examining some clothes on the racks in the young men's section.

"I'm doing well so far, nothing terribly shocking or strange."_ As long as I refuse to acknowledge Snape and Malfoy. "I like the lucid, powerful feeling I get when they show up." Harry and Hermione were careful with the magic talk. Harry noticed how flamboyant some clothes for young men were these days. Phrases like __I'm with stupid! Or __Butthole and Proud of It! plastered on gaudy colored clothing. The baggy denim pants confirmed Sirius' theory that oversized clothing was the rage now. Harry himself was a conservative dresser, not that he had a choice usually, but he liked plain clothes. He liked Hermione's new look which all it was really was the new straight smooth long hair. She wore a large denim jumper with white shirt underneath and a straw hat with flowers. Harry did like the new low rise jeans that were in style now and bought several of them along with some sleeveless shirts and some quite form fitting clothes that showed off certain "attributes". He left the shop wearing a sleeveless black shirt and vintage wash low rise jeans and black steel toe combat boots. The clothes made him look __really thin now. Remus very discreetly bought two impulse buy shirts for him and Sirius and refused to divulge to the kids what he bought. At Diagon Alley they went to a store called "Everything but the Elf" because it had everything a wizarding home needed except the house elf to run it. Harry bought red sheets and blankets, and pillows of crushed red velvet. Strangely he didn't buy gold anything, just red, black or beige and before he left he bought a large wall tapestry of a phoenix. The goods would be delivered to the house tomorrow. The three met up with Arthur and proceeded to the muggle occult bookstore trying to calm a hyper Arthur from squealing with delight every two minutes. The store was called "Moonglow" and had a heavy Wiccan influence. Remus led Arthur into the adjoining Starbucks and proceeded to talk with the scent of sandalwood and rose incense floating through the air between the two places. The kids walked to opposite ends of the store. After getting some coffee the two were in discussion._

"Never thought muggles were interested in our world." Arthur said with concerned eyes as he spied two teenage boys looking at crystals.

"Some are almost fanatical about acquiring magical power." Remus was nursing his house blend. "Thank you for supporting us." He said somberly "Sirius may not be the most tactful person but he would unquestionably give his life for Harry as would I." The small crowd of people in both places made it cozy. 

"Molly really feels badly for Harry and Ron would be here if not for the fact he promised to be with Molly and Ginny going to their Grandmother's house."

Remus nodded at this. "I'm really sorry for the letter writing campaign, I'm sure Molly at one point wanted to crucify you for being near our kids." This made Remus flinch slightly and two wizards sat in an uneasy silence for awhile. Hermione was looking at histories of Witches and Pagans noticing how accurate some things were and how other things missed the mark completely. She was totally absorbed. Harry liked this place as it reminded him of a poor man's Flourish and Blotts. Harry went to the back where they kept all the ceremonial magick texts and right there on a couch in a sharp black sports jacket with a caramel mocha frappuccino reading _The Magus by Francis Barrett was the poster child for Voldemort Youth, Draco Malfoy, sitting on the couch as like he owned the place. Harry just stared blankly at Draco for a good four minutes. He looked like some fashion model or a playboy and he was just sitting there as an ordinary muggle like it was nothing. Draco saw Harry come in the store and was waiting for this moment._

            "So, come to take in the glory that is Malfoy, Potter, or did your brain finally just give out from disuse?" He quietly drawled without even looking up from his book. No mistaking it, this was Draco. 

            "That was total crap you gave me on the train wasn't it?" Draco still didn't look up from his book. 

            "Perhaps, of course _you personally have to take responsibility for your role last time out too."_

            "What are you talking about?" Harry sighed as he looked through the bookself without facing Draco.

            "Diggory, he died because you were the enemy. Wake up, Potter you're going to destroy us all." Draco said calmly as he turned the page, still not looking up. Harry wanted to throw a book at Malfoy's face...if what he said wasn't heartbreakingly true, at least that's what Harry thought. Harry's good mood was obliterated single-handedly by Draco. 

            "Here I thought you hated muggle things." Harry said coolly noticing Draco sipping his iced coffee.

            "Closet addiction, I guess. Mudbloods, wizards...it doesn't matter anymore." Harry's head turned around. Maybe...maybe that shining boy he saw in the vision would....

            "I am superior to them both." Harry's stomach dropped. "I think with the protection charms Professor Snape put on me I got a world record for breaking multiple curses in a span of fourteen minutes too." The overlapping curses and hexes that were placed on Draco and his henchmen were lifted in a short time thanks to a secret charm placed by Snape. Good thing too otherwise Draco would still be under. 

            "I wouldn't have done anything to you. It was them."

            "Maybe it should have been you. Just you. I think hatred is the best sin. It brings a passionate fire comparable to love." Draco snorted at his own statement.

            "Well I'm not a sadistic fuck like you, your father and Voldemort."

            "I think you are total grade A masochist. With the wretched life you lead you must enjoy pain inflicted on yourself. I would have fought harder not to go into the tournament, seeing how insane it's gotten." Draco's attitude was markedly distant, like he wasn't even bother by Harry anymore. You couldn't guess it by the malice they were tossing back and forth. "Oh, I _know you're not the spoiled, arrogant shithead anymore. You don't have the spark for that kind of disposition. It's 'I'm The Boy Who Lived, the Dark Lord is back feel sorry for me.' Professor Snape is a fucking brilliant man but he sorely misjudged you as being spoiled, I know that now." _

            "Thanks for the concern. Since you're so concerned I just thought you liked to know that when we get back to Hogwarts I'll deal with you myself without the guys since you actually **asked for it." Draco closed the book and then gave a witheringly sardonic smile.**

            "I would enjoy that. Oh yeah, now I remember as of now my transfer papers to Durmstrang should be in process."

            Harry almost collapsed from the shock. "N...No fucking way!"

            "You win Potter. We're through." Draco said unceremoniously. "Leaving my friends, my classmates...' _my beloved secret Uncle, Severus Draco thought bitterly 'and all my __fond memories of us together for one reason only." Draco spat with pure malice._

            "Which is?"

            "You and the filth you surround yourself in are no longer worth the time and effort anymore. Harry Potter..."

            "What?" Harry was now in 'stunned' mode.

            "You are hereby officially declared Beneath Me. I want nothing more to do with you. After all the hurt you imparted to me you simply are not going to be the center of my universe anymore and I'm moving on. I'm staying as far away from you as possible and letting Father and his associates deal with you promptly. Goodbye Potter. I'm not sure if you'll see me again, even on the battlefield.

            A long silence then Harry spoke.

"Am I really that disgusting to you?"

"Of course not. If you weren't with _them I could have been the best thing in your life ****__ever." Draco said with a hard iron tone in his voice. "You would have been safe, protected. We could have split this world in half and drank from it like the sweetest butterbeer. All of your secrets would have gone to the grave, Potter, you'd never had to be the Boy Who Lived with me, fuck Potter I think you would have learned to appreciate worship and praise from the masses and __used it like a weapon. You could have learned to be strong and not just survive what life brings; you can't really say you like this half life you're leading now." _

More silence.

Then hot tears flowing down from emerald eyes. Draco just snorted at this.

"You're right. I _love being hurt. Why in God's name why I'd ever listen to you otherwise." Harry said with much bitterness._

"Because you _want to listen." Draco's expression didn't soften one bit. He'd finally broke Harry but felt no satisfaction whatsoever. Breaking the weak minded brought no pleasure. This rivalry was under the assumption that Harry dared to be an equal. Now what was he? A legend who was melting down in public. Draco knew his father would be on Harry's case and get a blistering speech on dignity and pride of the pureblood. __More like the inbred. Draco thought as in the private corner Harry was going sit down and just cry. __This farce must end. For the sake of the pure ones._

_Even if Father and Severus scold me.___

_Even if Granger and Weasley will try and kill me.___

_Even if The Master will kill me...he was never my master to start with anyway._

_In the end I just wanted you to notice me. Only me._

"Get up, Potter." Harry turned around and saw a strange sight. Draco's gray eyes and ivory face were softened with concern.

A lone immaculate, alabaster hand was outstretched to Harry. An unholy pact was being offered up.

"Last chance, take it or leave it. We can still break this world in half and lap up the milk and honey that flows inside of it. _Together." Draco whispered._


	10. Where A Wolf's Heart Lives

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer                                                                                                                                   

Disclaimer: I Don't Own the Characters except the two new players in this chapter. This is a not for profit work. "Mouth" belongs to Bush.

CHAPTER 10: Where a Wolf's Heart Lives 

_            You gave me this_

            _Made me give_

_            Your silver grin_

_            Still sticking it in_

_            You have Soul Machine_

_            Soul Machine_

_            The Longest Kiss_

_            Peeling furniture days_

_            Drift madly to you_

_            Pollute my heart drain_

_            You have broken in me._

_            Broken Me_

_            All your mental armor drags me down._

_            Nothing hurts like your mouth...._

_                                                            "Mouth" by Bush._

Harry made his way back to Remus and Arthur, eyes red but composed. When asked if he was crying Harry simply said he read a book about the Holocaust and it made him sad. Harry got himself an herbal tea and sat beside Remus. This prompted Arthur into a disturbing confession.

"I think the Ministry is going look into the possibility of interment camps for Dark Creatures. The strange part of this whole thing is the only person that doesn't believe **_He's _back is the Minister. Everyone else seems to be gearing up."**

"Are we going have another iron clad regime?" Remus said quietly knowing the implications. 

"Not everyone is stupid as Fudge. A serious air of mistrust of everyone has permeated all levels of the Ministry." 

"The last time this happened, Mum and Dad died, Peter turned, Remus hated Sirius, and Sirius got sent away." Harry stated flatly putting his two knuts worth into the conversation. "And I was left with _them."_

"Thus the lessons of the past will be put to good use. Dumbledore was right when he said we need to stand together." Remus replied his golden eyes looking very sympathetically at Harry. 

"We'll find a way to find out whose trustworthy beforehand then give everything we got against Him."

"It's Voldemort. You can say his name....or just Riddle. I think Riddle is better." Harry said with a touch of sourness in his voice. After three attempts on his life Harry had more than enough of the ruby-eyed maniac.

Arthur looked flushed then whispered "I have to go, um, relieve myself....be back in a few. I'll apparate to proper wizarding toilet, so don't fret." Arthur then took off to the back of the store.

"There's a difference?" Harry asked dryly.

"It flushes itself." Remus deadpanned

"We have those now too, I remember." Harry snorted knowing there wasn't really a difference after living four years in the wizarding world. Even in muggle clothes Harry noticed that Remus looked awfully frail, like he never had any energy in his system. Harry hated that everyone was getting swept up in a great whirlpool that was His Life. 

"In the end, it's still just going to be me against him." Harry muttered.

"All of us are with you, remember that." Remus tried to sound reassuring

"No, it's this destiny thing. I'm going to be alone when I face him. I can't go hide with my family in the safe houses like every one else does." Remus looked at Harry appraisingly then said

"You hate being everyone's hero, don't you?"

"I especially hate that I'm the only one who seems to have deflected _Avada_ Kedavra_, especially since it was because of mother's gift and not from my own power." Harry sounded tired. Remus was very quiet then spoke._

"I think the spell your mother used is in her Book of Shadows. Ever since we met I wanted to find a way to recast it on you. No one has the right to place this burden on you, not Dumbledore, not our world and especially not fate. We make our own destiny, Harry. You have done far too much for us all so far, now it's time we protect you." Although the shop was filling up with people the place was dead silent to Harry. However Harry's instinct was putting up red flags, this situation while it provided a chance to rest seemed way too close to the Fidelius Charm scenario that his parents were placed in. 

"I guess I should look it up." Harry answered. Suddenly Hermione made her way to the table that Harry and Remus were sitting. 

"These books are great, I should buy some but my room is packed." Hermione was really excited as she sat down.

"Say, Hermione could you help me with something?" Harry asked.

"Sure, what do you need?" Hermione bubbled with the energy of being in one of her favorite places: a bookstore.

_My head examined, possibly. _"Could you tell me what this language is?" Harry then produced a scrap paper with some symbols on it that he copied from Lily Potter's Book of Shadows. Hermione glanced at it, and then frowned. Harry knew what kind of frown it was though because he saw it many times before.

"Harry, this is Theban Script." Hermione said with a hint of admonishment. Theban Script was a system of writing where Witches and Magicians could write spell craft information without muggles knowing what they wrote. 

"Let me see that." Remus said while Harry held his breath, this wasn't going to be good. Hermione gave the scrap to Remus.

"It certainly is, wait, Harry you don't know how to read this?" Remus asked.

"I haven't really taken up Ancient Runes yet." Harry said sheepishly.

"It is a basic skill we learned...in **first year**." She said sharply.

"Well it's not like it's a second language! Ron doesn't know how to read or write Theban either."

"That's not really an excuse." Both Remus and Hermione said in perfect unison. At Harry's crushed look Hermione sighed "I suppose I can let you borrow my book of languages and let you transcribe it that way."

"I wish you were allowed to use magic over the summer---

"My parents signed a release form too." Hermione interrupted flatly. This surprised both Remus and Harry.

"Was it because you're such a model student?" Remus asked.

"Yes, and the fact I might be on the front lines with Harry too. Of course Professor McGongall didn't tell my parents that when we got the paperwork at the ministry. They're not sure if they should tell the muggle world yet about this private little war considering they almost kept all the muggles in the dark about the last one." Hermione had a very serious tone of voice. Harry then turned to Remus.

"Are muggles really that untrustworthy of the gifts of magick?" Harry said gesturing to the muggles who were in the metaphysical shop picking up herbs, stones and books. Remus paused and then very thoughtfully gave a response.

"Underneath it all, I think all of us are muggle. I think the word "muggle" is just as derogatory as "mudblood". Sirius and I lived our lives as muggle even while using magick. I mean we listened to records, watched movies, poured over muggle books and Sirius had even enchanted a motorcycle to fly."

"Mr. Weasley would have a field day!" Harry snorted cheerfully.

"Well, we won't tell Mr. Weasley that." Remus said with a hint of playfulness. The two nodded with knowing smiles.

"I think it's really neat that you and Sirius lived together for a period of time. Sirius really must care about you if he wouldn't leave you alone after Hogwarts, especially since you clearly can take care of yourself on the full moon." Harry then sipped some more of his tea and something peculiar happened. Hermione gave Remus a certain 'look'. Remus shifted uncomfortably but his expression remained neutral. His best guess was that Hermione was picking up on the hint that he and Sirius were _involved, still involved, actually give or take thirteen or fourteen years. Before Hermione could say anything Mr. Weasley came back._

"Well that takes care of that, I have to be getting home soon. Let's do this some other time okay Remus?" Arthur said. 

"Yes." Remus nodded. Hermione then noticed a blond, sharply dressed young man walk out the exit of Moonglow.  

"Hey that looks like Malfoy!" she exclaimed.

"Don't be silly. Malfoy wouldn't be caught dead in a muggle place much less in muggle clothes." Harry said flatly with a hint of bitterness to his voice **knowing **it was Malfoy. So they parted ways with Arthur and headed outside and started to walk to an electronics store that Remus looked up. When they reached the store Hermione took as shopping cart.

"Too bad we couldn't get Mr. Weasley to the electronics store with us." Hermione cheerfully said.

"Oh, goodness no. That poor man's head would explode as soon he steps inside." Remus gently teased but as they stepped inside Remus was taken aback how much technology has changed. It _has _been a long time since he stepped inside a store like this. After picking up a CD player, a DVD player, television set and VCR combo they left for home...the magical way. 

It was about five hours since they left for London so Remus and Harry were very surprised when all three walked across the front door to see Sirius in his black leather jacket back from the mission with Mrs. Figg sitting on the couch. It was a little humorous seeing the frail old lady with tough guy Sirius on the couch but Sirius had a less than thrilled expression on his face. Harry for the life of him couldn't understand why the cat lady was sitting....

_Oh My GOD!!!_ Harry thought as it hit him as he put his shopping bags down.

"Snuff, that had better not be..." Harry said as he was practically hyperventilating with his shopping bags.

"I believe you already met Arabella Figg senior member of The Order." Sirius said grimly. Hermione tried to get through the front door with both her and Remus carrying the electronics boxes (featherweight charmed of course).

There were no words spoken for five minutes as Harry and the others put the boxes and bags in the living room. Sirius immediately noticed Harry's new clothes. 

"You trying out for track and field or something?" Sirius asked seeing Harry's tank top

            "You look like you haven't eaten for a while, dear." Arabella said noticing Harry painfully looking thin arms. Sirius glared at her hard. Very hard.

            "Would you like to stay for dinner Mrs. Figg?" Remus asked noticing Sirius' hard glare. 

            "Well, I wouldn't want to impose..." She started.

"Don't be silly, Arabella, you're our guest.... Harry, _breathe_!!" Remus said sharply noticing Harry. 

"I think we need to talk about our dinner plans in the kitchen, excuse us." Sirius grunted and stood up. Remus and Harry followed him into the kitchen. 

"Make yourself at home Hermione." Remus called as he walked in the kitchen. Hermione sat on the couch beside Mrs. Figg bewildered as to what all the tension was. Both women noticed the silence charm being erected in the kitchen.

"So, little one, do you like cats?" Arabella spoke gently. Hermione grinned brightly. In the kitchen it was totally different atmosphere, a non-argumentative shouting match atmosphere.

"Well of course she wouldn't know because Harry didn't tell anyone!" Remus blasted Sirius back after he accused her of not knowing about Vernon Dursley abusing Harry.

"She was right down the street and Harry did tell people about his family, didn't you Harry?"

"Yes." He replied meekly.

"She didn't notice when you stayed over at her house did she? You didn't tell her then about what was going on with you and your uncle did you?" Remus asked.

"No." Harry said in the same tone.

"So, that doesn't prove anything. Vernon probably fucked with Harry's mind making him think that sort of behavior was normal."  Harry slightly flinched but the other two didn't notice this. 

"Not to mention Vernon told everyone else that I'm the scum of the earth and a severe delinquent case." Harry said hoarsely. Sirius pulled Harry closer and started stroking his hair. "I don't think pouring boiling water over Mrs. Figg would make my domestic situation any better."

"Now what gave you that idea?" Sirius asked genuinely puzzled. Remus sighed loudly and put his hands on his hips.

"Oh, I don't know Padfoot. Maybe the 'Die You Smelly Bitch, Die!' look you gave the poor woman might have something to do with it." Remus said. Sirius and Harry were a little taken aback by this comment. A moment of silence then Sirius started to snort with laughter. 

"Mr. Moony is getting..._hormonal." Sirius said with a smirk. Harry looked puzzled then some understanding dawned upon him._

"So the moon makes him...unbalanced." Harry asked gently.

"Not _unbalanced..." Remus huffed slightly indignant._

"Wild at heart. The wolf in him makes him aggressive and edgy during moontime." Sirius told Harry _Not to mention certain lusts and desiresincrease tenfold...which makes me wonder how Remus got through all these lonely years without me. My beloved must have been a total wreck._

"I have great self-control I might add. I must. It's only around Mr. Padfoot when I start to falter a little." Remus muttered.

"So does that mean he drives you bonkers?" Harry asked Remus. Sirius had mock indignation on his face.

"Completely." Was all Remus said as Sirius flashed a smirk at him.

"Well, learning that I had wasted a potential escape opportunity is not fun, but I'm quite willing to overlook this little detail as long as we can stay together." Harry said quietly.

"Three men living in an abandoned, utility-free house, in muggle suburbia in legal purgatory sounds lovely." Sirius grunted.

"Life's just like that." Remus sighed.

"Lovely?" Harry replied knowing the real answer.

"Purgatory." Both Sirius and Remus answered. Harry just grinned sadly and shook his head. 

"We can't let little things like this trip us up. We here together, _right now,_ isn't that wonderful enough?" Harry said as he promptly went to the fridge and looked through it. 

"You're right, poppet, I won't make a fuss then...what are you looking for?" Sirius huffed.

"Tonight's dinner."

"It's steak." Both Sirius and Remus said in unison. In the week or two before the full moon it was always steak. Not that Remus or Sirius _minded_ this it's just that Remus' appetite for meat always spiked up before the moon also.

"I'll make dinner. You go upstairs and study your runes with Hermione." Remus told Harry. 

"What's up with the runes?" Sirius asked. 

"He doesn't know Theban Script."

"Well of course he wouldn't know advanced things. I don't really remember them either."

"It's **not advanced! Its first year knowledge you prat!" Remus protested wildly.**

"Okay, okay, Moony, calm down. I do have a good excuse though."

"Oh, what is it?" Remus said as he actually smirked at Sirius.

"When in Azkaban the Dementors sucked me off hard enough that I must have lost some knowledge that floated around my head when I was little."

Remus and Harry promptly had the "Too Much Information" blush on their faces. Sirius groaned.

"Right, Ladies and Gentlemen Direct from Azkaban, Sirius Black! He gives good head while you suck down his head!" Sirius said very tartly. Harry while his eyes were widened he also got a fit of giggles.

"Well _I had to live it." Sirius gave a lopsided grin._

"I know I shouldn't be laughing but..." Harry sputtered

"REALLY he's **far too young for that sort of humor." Remus huffed again.**

"Yeah, that's what they said to us when **_we_** were his age." Sirius said as he brushed his long hair back. Harry got some chocolate milk out and went to the living room. A very strange sight was in the living room as Harry could see six or seven photo albums hovering in mid-air. Mrs. Figg conjured the albums and was showing the photos to Hermione. Of course Harry knew they were all of her cats. It seemed Hermione looked really tired.

_Fifteen minutes. That's a record, Mrs. Figg. _Harry thought grimly as he opened the milk carton and took a swig of chocolatey goodness. Now that Arabella was revealed to be a witch she could perform magick in front of Harry. It didn't make her any less boring than before. 

"Ah, Harry! Come sit down and look at my sweetie pies." Mrs. Figg gave a grin.

"No thank you, I've already seen albums one through twenty-three." Harry deliberately said that on purpose just to see Hermione's slightly horrified expression. 

"Well, I really can't stay anyway. Albus needs me and I've got to make preparations." Mrs. Figg made the albums vanish. Hermione took a quick sigh of relief.

"Tell the boys I'll see them later." Arabella got her salmon pink shawl and started to walk toward the door when Sirius came out of the kitchen.

"Leaving?"

"Yes. I've got to see Albus and check up on things. Bye, Sirius I'll see you at the next meeting." 

"Okay, be careful. Remus, Figg can't stay for dinner." Sirius spoke toward the kitchen.

"That's fine, I don't want to give up any of these steaks. Is there any chance the rest of you can go out too?" 

Hermione gave a puzzled look. _Moontime_ Harry mouthed silently to her. She nodded immediately understanding.

"Um, Moony maybe I better do the cooking before you start eating those steaks." Sirius darted back into the kitchen. 

Hermione shook her head good naturedly. Arabella Figg waved goodbye and left after which Hermione spoke.

"Commit me if I ever put Crookshanks in a photo album." Hermione groaned.

"Wait until she breaks out the home movies."

"Say, I should be getting home for dinner too."

"Well let me show you the Potter Book of Shadows first."

"Okay." While Harry and Hermione went upstairs the door to the kitchen magically locked with Sirius being at the brunt of a little _indiscretion _courtesy of Remus. The fragile looking werewolf's mouth was melded to Sirius' own.

The Wolf didn't want to wait anymore. It had its other half here. It hungered for flesh. Both to eat and to satisfy its carnal lust. Remus broke away with Sirius breathing ragged.

"My GOD, I can't be doing this sort of thing." Remus said also breathing heavily.

"So we can be shower friends and nothing more?" Sirius breathed with his face flushed.

"I...I can't stop touching you now. I..won't."

"And the problem is?"

"I mean what are we going to tell Harry? I'm scared." Remus then jumped Sirius and sweetly devoured him again. A few stolen moments later and Remus was on the other side of the kitchen.

"Tell him what?"

"That...that...we're together. In love. You're where my heart lives. Always." Remus whispered. Sirius was both relieved and unsettled. Remus feeling the same way about him now was good. Sirius promised Remus forever....And that was **_before_** they were lovers; back when they only were beloved friends at Hogwarts. Now the promises were starting to become fulfilled after many years of hollow, twisted pain. They kept this part of themselves private, not even telling James and Peter about how deep their feelings ran. No one would guess that popular ladies man Sirius Black would become secret lovers with the shy bookworm/werewolf Remus Lupin.

Everyone **_did _catch on that Sirius thought his Purpose In Life was to protect Remus from everything and everyone.**

Now Sirius had to include Harry in his Purpose, something he was glad to do, but now there were complications. Would Harry be able to accept this kind of relationship? There should be no secrets in this family. 

_Gods, Family! That's what this is now. _Sirius made the realization and it hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. While this little drama was being played out in the kitchen another little one was about to take place in Harry's room. The two were sitting on the bed looking through the ornate book. There were diary entries and pictures of flowers and herbs and diagrams of magick rituals and charms both modified from the Hogwarts curriculum and some originals created by Lily. This amazed Hermione and Harry but thing that stuck out most was that the pictures didn't move around like in an ordinary wizarding book, however the pictures did **glow. They glowed with an almost ethereal light, especially the ritual and spell information pages.**

"This one here is a spell incantation to cultivate trust." Hermione spoke as she looked at a picture of children playing in a grassy field. The spell words and instructions were written in the Theban Script. Harry got out his school things and bookmarked that page.

_Anything to help with my Malfoy situation.__ Harry tiredly thought. He did not want to think of Draco and that can of worms he started up. _

He said yes.

He'd wanted to learn more about Draco.

Then he'd show the world how evil Draco and his family could really be.

That's what he kept telling himself over and over again.

He wanted to see if Draco was even _capable _of love. No, he was. The vision proved it.

Draco's hand was extraordinarily soft when he shook it.

_Why would I think of that? Why would I even have anything to do with him? _

Harry had to keep this lapse of better judgment from his loved ones.

"Hey look! A passage on Divination and it's in English!" Hermione exclaimed that shook Harry from his thoughts. There was a picture of a tarot card. It glowed with blue light as it had a scene of a full moon with two dogs barking at it. It reminded him of Moony and Padfoot and it made both Harry and Hermione (who thought the same thing) smile. It read:

DIVINATION

_The wizarding world is completely divided on the relevance of Divination. Some people regard it as complete waste of time choosing only to focus on this world in the present time. Some others think of it as the most powerful ability a witch or wizard has at their disposal. This probably has a lot to do with the question of Destiny, specifically whether or not we have one or not. One school of thought believes that the human will shapes all and every action is random with no purpose. Another school of thought is that we all have a higher purpose in life and that everything happens for a reason. No death is ever senseless if that person was able to teach a lesson from his or her passing. Albus Dumbledore believes in destiny but frowns upon those who wish to learn more "before their time". Take for instance four of my dearest loves The Marauders. During an advanced divination session when I was in school the teacher told me privately that the boys I hung out with would undergo a betrayal and then total destruction. Later that year a set-up occurred at the Whomping Willow with Remus, Severus and Sirius that almost killed Severus. The others wouldn't talk to Sirius for a while but Remus was the first to forgive him and soon everything was back to normal again. The lesson here is that the strong can change their fate. Remus could have easily let Sirius' mistake completely ruin his friendship with him but he chose to believe in his love instead. I don't believe in an "Ultimate Destiny" and I hope to pass this knowledge on to my children someday. However if the "Sight" does come into a person's life they should know that all the signs and visions were given as a gift to change our world._

            "Harry..." Hermione whispered. 

           "I know. Pettigrew." Harry mumbled back. It would seem that the prophecy about the Marauders came true. However Harry realized something.

            "We're the strong." He said. Hermione turned and looked at him.

            "What do you mean?"

            "There's still hope, Hermione. The Marauders haven't gone anywhere there _here. Padfoot, Moony, and me! Remus said as a son of a pack member I'm automatically in. Although they...__we were lost for so many years, now is our season. We were strong enough not to let the weight of fourteen years destroy us." _This makes my "yes" answer to Malfoy all the more baffling. What are you playing at Potter?__

"You're really strong too, Harry. Otherwise you'd be like Riddle right now."

            "Whatever."

            "No, really. I guess you've all but passed Divination now. Trelawney will think of me as a lost cause."

            "Just stuff some mugwort under your pillow and when you sleep you'll have prophetic dreams."

            "I attempted to try mugwort both years we had Divination but the student potion stores were always out."

            "It wasn't just you then that had problems with the course."

"At least I didn't try to fake my way through it." At this Harry stuck out his tongue at her. She smirked in return and noticed a stray potion vial on the floor from when Harry fished out a bookmark. "Better pick up things like that otherwise you'll break it."

"Sure thing, mum." Harry sarcastically commented as he put the book aside and started to put the vial away. Hermione sniffed at the comment as she continued to look at the pretty, glowing pictures in the book. However she **felt the energy of the room change. She noticed Harry jolt suddenly and then realized he was having a vision.**

_// Daybreak._

_Living room.__ **Our** Living room._

_Sirius and Remus in deep conversation on the couch.___

_The front window shatters and a potion vial sails through and hits the floor._

_It explodes with force and sends Sirius reeling._

_Two men break in the front door. One has a black duster and the other has a brown suede jacket._

_Father and Son.___

_The father pulls out a shotgun and shoots Remus!_

_The impact of the bullet doesn't hurt much but..._

_Chest is burning._

_Feels like fire._

_Remus is on fire...//_

"AAAAUUGGGHH!" Harry yelled clutching his chest. "I'm burning!" but suddenly the vivid feeling fades away and Harry starts to breathe heavily.  "Get them...."

"Right!" Hermione ran downstairs and slammed into Sirius who was about to tell them dinner was being served. Soon Sirius, Remus and Hermione ran back to Harry's room. Very gently they all went downstairs while avoiding the couch which made Harry go pale as a sheet. They all sat in the dining room and Harry drank a glass of water. He started explaining everything.

"It didn't hurt when it impacted but a few seconds later it was as if someone set me on fire, or rather, you." He spoke timidly to Remus.

"Silver bullet." Sirius growled. Apparently he was in situations like this with Remus before.

"Harry can feel what the people in the visions are feeling?" Hermione inquired seriously to Sirius.

"Yes, that's why it's important to know what each vision brings in order to know if Harry can handle them." He replied gravely.

"I can handle them." Harry said grimly "Especially if they mean the difference between life and death. We're going to be the strong." Harry gave Hermione a look and she nodded.

"I'll go tell Mum and Dad I'm staying the night at a friend's house, which is the truth actually." Hermione said with great resolve.

"What are you two planning?" Remus said quietly. Harry then stood up and gently spoke.

"This morning the Marauders are going to change the world and the outcome of that vision." 

Harry and Sirius were hopeful but Remus wasn't at all convinced.


	11. Interlude: Existence

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1; the song "Wish" belongs to hitomi.

A/N: Not quite a songfic. This is an interlude that is broken into three parts with three important players. 

(This takes place during the previous chapter)

CHAPTER 11: An Interlude~Existence

_If this image that I'll probably forget like time escaping me could revive me, it woke me up._

_If we change our words and walk on this way full of splendor, I wonder if these shaky feelings will start to bleed out_

_Bracing myself against the subway wall, I become a glimmering memory again._

_So if I should stop time was I dreaming by myself?_

_Will I repeat the fragile meetings once again?_

_To a world that reaches my heart..._

Peter Pettigrew was lying, curled up on his bedroom floor. He hired two wolf hunters to kill Remus and he realized Voldemort probably wanted him to kill Sirius too eventually. He knew it was always his job to destroy the ones that especially pissed Voldemort. Peter had given Voldemort everything to make his dreams come true which included his family, his hand, and his sense of worth. Voldemort said that Peter had no place left to go anymore and he was right but Peter felt that he was always nowhere to begin with. The only person ever to make Peter feel important, feel _human was James...no one else, not even the other Marauders came close. Peter never would never give up the precious feelings that James gave him to some faceless archwizard dictator...unless those feelings never returned anymore. Upon getting married and having a child those feelings faded into the background for James. No amount of manipulation could __trick Peter into giving up his secret, it his decision, his choice to do it. He wondered at times why he quietly hated Lily Potter so much even to this day. He _was _happy that James got married, he _was _happy that James had a child. Then Peter realized it was because Lily and Harry became James Potter's first priority. He could live with that, right? _

Peter thought, make that **_knew_ that no one would put him first in any sort of relationship anymore.**

Lily and Harry took that away. There was nothing wrong with them but they simply robbed him of his only way of living.

Many people, including Voldemort, wanted Peter dead. That was okay, nobody would miss him then.

Why did Harry have to live? If he died on Halloween then everything would have been over. Nobody would bother him anymore; he could finally live with himself.

He hated Harry, now more than ever. He kept him alive, made him suffer more by telling Sirius and Remus not to kill him.

He eventually sacrificed his hand for Voldemort's resurrection and used Harry's blood.

Harry didn't die then either. 

Peter cradled his real hand. He knew, one day he'd probably no longer be human anymore. Something in Peter heart stirred.

Screw Voldemort, since he wanted Peter dead he was under no obligation to follow him anymore.

He'd destroy the Marauders completely this time. To finish what he started.

Sirius, Remus, Harry and himself.

Peter knew it was time they all had to die. There was no point in living anymore.

A shudder passed through his heart. It would be like destroying James twice now. Then the absolute horror seeped into Peter's immortal soul.

Not once did he care about James back. James was always the kind who gave without caring about what he got in return.

He didn't care about James the way he cared about him. 

From the first meeting on the train, to Halloween night, to right now on a bedroom floor, Peter had simply been lying to himself.

Ever since he could remember.

_The image I'm seeing of the rising clouds almost splitting apart but still fitting together, I relate to it._

_Evanescently, I felt someone's everything _

_I'm wondering if we can understand each other_

_I was wandering meaninglessly, but I'm living for the here and now, while holding the hammering beat in my chest._

_So if I make it through this night will I be betrayed by pain?_

_Make me see the future you believe in_

_To an infinite, expansive universe....___

           Ron Weasley was sitting in his room of the Burrow. He just got back from a pleasant afternoon with his grandmother, sister and mother. It was something he liked but he was worried that he missed an opportunity to be with Harry. At this point though Ron wasn't sure if he and Harry could get along anymore, not because they fight, but because they don't really seem to connect anymore like they used to. Harry lived in a world that was so far removed from his own. Ron for once soberly looked at the facts and came to a conclusion.

It wasn't about being poor (Ron could work hard and be well off someday)

It wasn't about being famous (Ron realized this was shallow)

It wasn't about being a hero (Ron knew other people aside from Harry could come to the rescue)

It wasn't about magical ability (Ron knew if studied and practiced hard he could be stronger)

It was about how he and Harry were two fundamentally different people. If Harry wasn't famous he knew people would still favor Harry over Ron because he was an empty-headed, _useless_, person. Ron realized how shallow he was after he looked back on the mirror of Erised incident with Harry. He only thought of his own self while Harry saw people he wanted to know, to _love. Ron laughed now. If Harry had a normal wizarding upbringing he's probably be just as plain as him. Ron was still laughing but a bitter thought rose to the surface. _

Why can't he at times see past The Boy Who Lived?

Simply, because he was a national icon before he met him and would stay that way even after he left.

People could care less about what happened to Ron Weasley.

Ron bit his tongue, consciously. His loved ones, which included Harry and Hermione would care. Very Much.

He'd hurt himself on purpose so that he wouldn't forget that, ever. 

He hurt himself a lot lately.

Harry was a very kind young man who gave of himself without needing anything in return. 

Harry only needed Ron to listen to him or smile to make his life more bearable.

Ron wondered at what point those things weren't enough for him to make life bearable.

Why he had this need to validate his reason for being...wait Harry did that.

Ron watched the fragmented clouds amid the red sunset out his window.

Ron wondered when he stopped caring about other people outside his circle of friends and family.

Harry would never do that.

_So if I should stop time would I be dreaming by myself?_

_The fast approaching sadness is painful _

_To a future that bears no real substance..._

Draco Malfoy, in his room, heard the house elf relay the familiar message that his father would be late and to have dinner without him...for about the hundredth time. If being at your house during the summer from boarding school meant that you could see your parents again, Draco sure didn't know it. Spending a little time with your father _that _was luxury for Draco Malfoy. His dark secret, that he was in an alliance with Harry Potter, would surely shred the precious connection Draco had with his father but Draco had a plan. Make Harry useful somehow. If Harry and Draco could somehow further Lucius Malfoy's personal agenda then he wouldn't hate Draco for being with the "enemy" so much. His father loved him. It hurt Draco that his father, a proud, noble man was at the feet of another. He felt the same way about Severus too. Sometimes Draco questioned the validity of Severus' feelings towards him. If they were true or if he was just like that so that he would be using him as a means to get back at Potter for one reason or another. As he was making his way towards the dining room he thought that if Harry had died on Halloween, he be in the future that his father had promised him a long time ago. A future where they rule over all, where they could control everything...with Voldemort's blessing.

Draco thought that was a load of bullshit.

He knew deep inside, his family could be better than the Riddle legacy. He knew about the mudblood secret of Tom Riddle but kept silent out of fear.

Draco would remake the world into something where he and his father could live in peace.

And they would thank Potter for it.  


	12. Seeing White

For My Loved Ones by Spelljammer

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

CHAPTER 12:  Seeing White

            In a battlefield far away...a young boy with a scar grew beautiful white wings and was clutching a sorcerer's stone. He was talking with somebody among the ruined place of battle. The boy was silently shedding tears....

_I liked everything about you..._

_            They said I was worthy of living..._

                        _So right now, I apologize_

_                                    For not being strong enough to live without you_

_                                                But in the end we will all be together anyway_

                                                            _I'm sure of it. _

_                                                                        I love you. _

_                                                                                    I'll be waiting for you...._

            The boy smiled at the other person as his wings opened up and beautiful white energy poured out of the stone. The Legendary protection spell....

            The world turned to white....

            Severus Snape snapped awake from his early sleep. He checked his mark...no it wasn't reacting. Snape went to his bathroom and was washing his face off with cold water. Why the hell would Harry do something like that? Although Severus wasn't a seer; as a wizard he knew he could get a premonition in a dream. It was if he was talking to him directly. It was very disturbing, seeing Harry freely give up his life for something...no _someone._ Severus looked at his pocket watch. Albus would be taking care of ministry business right now so he couldn't be owled about this. 

            _Damn it! Severus thought bitterly. The best people to talk about this with were the people he hated the most. Harry's guardians. If this was a genuine premonition (he felt it was) then as his duty as Harry's teacher (among other debts) required him to ensure Harry's safety. He silently looked at the fireplace. _

            He hated his life. He really did.

            Meanwhile back at Marauders Hold (a.k.a. Privet Drive) Harry and Hermione were looking at the clock. About a half hour to go before all hell breaks loose with the werewolf hunters. Remus and Sirius had their wands at the ready. They were all sitting on the couch.

            "Staring at clocks doesn't make them go faster." Remus chided them lightly.

            "We tried it." Sirius said quietly. Harry read a magazine and Hermione read a book. A few minutes later the fireplace lit and started to crackle!

            "Shit, they're here!" Sirius growled.

            "No wait! They didn't come in the firepl..." before Harry could finish Remus, Hermione and Sirius all pointed their wands at the fire and Severus found himself at wandpoint...point blank range.

            "It must be a Gryffindor thing." Severus deadpanned.

            "Damn it, you greasy git! We could have blown your balls clean off!" Sirius snorted.

            "Well that's not unusual behavior for you Black, but I have very grave business to discuss with you and Lupin."

            "Well it'll have to wait; we're in a crisis situation."

            "Ah, so you had the premonition too, I see."

            "Well it was more like a vision."

            "It was quite unsettling."

            "Why would you see Remus getting shot, though?"

            "Alright, so we're obliviously not talking about the same thing." Snape sighed disdainfully

            "So what did your pea-sized brain see?" Sirius asked impatiently.

            "At least I have a brain! You're lucky you're not some zombie feasting upon people." Snape hissed.

            "You look like the living dead..." Sirius began.

            **"Priorities, please!!"**** Remus shouted. Sirius fell quiet. Soon the front door burst open! A vial of potion started to land on the floor.**

            "_Windgardium__ Leviosa!" Hermione shouted. Soon the vial flew into the ceiling instead of the floor where they were standing. It blew some of the plaster off the ceiling. The hunters arrived early. Two men entered and both had a very cold expression. Actually the second man who dressed like a cowboy seemed to be about Harry age! The shotgun was pulled out. _

            _"Expelliarmus!"__ Harry shouted as pointed his wand and the magic made the shotgun fly out of the older hunters hand and flew into Harry's arms but..._

            _"Mobiliarbus!"__ Said the younger hunter as he waved his hand (no visible _wand!_) and soon the couch started to crash into Sirius and Severus! Soon the older hunter brandished a silver knife and threw it with startling speed! _

            _"Consisto!"__ Remus shouted and the magic made the knife halt in mid-air!_

            "_Accio__!" the younger boy shouted as the knife flew to his hand. "This is harder than Pettigrew said it would be. We better leave!" Soon the two were almost ready to depart when..._

            _"Illaqueo!"__ Harry shouted and a blue chain of light shot from the wand and entangled the two hunters. Everyone was surprised that Harry learned a new spell! It seemed to have properties that the body bind didn't and it kept people awake instead of stupefying them. Soon Dumbledore and McGongall arrived on the scene through the fireplace and **just now Sirius and Severus were getting untangled from the couch fiasco.**_

            "Good job, Harry. Thank you for defending me." Remus said he ruffled Harry head of hair. The hunters were being led to Hogwarts by floo powder for interrogation. Severus got up and dusted himself off.

            "No problem...I will always protect my family with my life and blood!" Harry said proudly.

            "Just like a Gryffindor!" Dumbledore said proudly.

            _"I'll be waiting for you" Severus remembered his dream._

            He felt like throwing up.


End file.
